Divorce After 50: Rebuilding Your Identity, Career and Love Life with Cori | Hot Flushes & Higher Self

Losing Yourself in Marriage

0:00 Cori: So I've had a great life. I used to be a professional singer. I then went on to qualify as a teacher of the deaf. I come from the United States originally, but I moved over to the UK in 1979 before a lot of your listeners were born, even probably. And I've traveled a lot. I have I had a great life. I grew up in a modestly affluent home, you know, so skiing and tennis, that kind of thing. So I was very fortunate.

0:33 Soraya: So was it that changed in your life?

0:38 Cori: What happened was one of the big informing principles in my life was that I wanted to find love. And I did have a few long-term relationships before I met my husband. Um and that was the big goal. And I still, by my late 30s, hadn't met anyone. So I when I met my now ex-husband, I just fell madly in love with him. He was very bright, he is very bright. He's a journalist, um, very courteous, all just a great guy in so many respects. Um, and I just fell madly in love with him. But he was a little bit avoidant at the time and really not sure he wanted to commit to a long-term relationship.

1:25 Cori: So when we eventually did get married, it was a big change for me. And really what happened was I was so committed to get making that work that I actually took parts of myself and put them to one side. So I didn't, I kind of suppressed parts of me. So I had uh been a songwriter, a singer. Um, he wanted me to, and and he would probably say this is unfair, but this is the way I perceived it. He wanted me to be at home, he didn't want me to go out and do gigs. Um, he wanted me to become more like the old-fashioned model of a housewife.

2:14 Cori: Dinner on the table, you cook the food. Didn't mind he didn't mind doing the dishes, but you know, that's the kind of lifestyle he envisaged. And I was so enthralled that I said, Yeah, sure, I can do that. So it just completely adapted myself to the version that I thought he wanted. And uh needless to say, it it worked for time, but it didn't work very well ultimately because I spent so much time suppressing my true nature. So even throughout the course of we went on to have two kids, and even throughout the course of my relationship, I would dabble in music, and then I would, you know, not really take it too seriously.

2:58 Cori: I mean, I took it seriously, but he didn't take it seriously, would be more to the point. Um, I I actually packed up, I had a recording studio in one of the rooms in our house. I packed it up, never opened it again, never ended up using it again.

3:13 Soraya: You decided to do that because you felt that you you couldn't really do it. He wasn't really supportive of it. You didn't feel that you had the time, or was it that packed up?

3:23 Cori: It's it was a mixture, you know. We lived in what was then a three-bedroom house. We eventually expanded into the loft, and the tiny room was where we had the studio. There would have been places to put it up, but I just thought, well, you know what, in service to the the family, our growing family, I'm gonna pack this up. So it was a joint decision. Um, and to be fair, I hadn't been using it as much. So I like I really I feel it's really important to be honest about these things and not distort them.

3:58 Cori: But there was it was almost like I was packing up a part of my life and saying, okay, that's finished now. I don't need to do that anymore. I did continue to write though, I just didn't use the recording studio.

Motherhood, Sacrifice and Putting Your Dreams Aside

4:13 Soraya: Yeah, I mean, I that's quite common, I see, in with women, you know, we kind of accommodate the family and put our own needs aside. It's so exciting. It is, but over time it just becomes normal. We don't really see it, and I guess that's what changed for you. So, at what point did you realize you weren't living the life that felt truly reflective of who you actually were?

4:36 Cori: I think what would have what happened is we we we started arguing and we started arguing more and more and more. And to be fair to him, he was okay to um get help in so that I could have time to pursue some of the things I wanted to do, but it was never really balanced. It was more like I'm getting this in to help you rather than I'm getting this in to help us. So all the the different, let's call them timelines I could have pursued, I didn't pursue. And that's become really apparent later in life.

5:12 Cori: Now my kids are grown, they've left the house, that the the person I would have become and the money that I would have been making had I had the same opportunity to build a career as he had. Yeah. Um it's I you can't regret what you did. It just is what it is, but I do wonder about it. And the other thing to say here is that I was never I wasn't one of these women who thought I must have children. I was never that woman. But when we got together, he really wanted to have children, and I'm really glad that he did push me to do that, not just one, but two children.

5:57 Cori: Um, because of course, if you have children, you know that it's one of the most incredible experiences you can have in life, and you know, to feel uh that kind of love is incredible. So I'm really pleased about that. But there was sacrifice, and it wasn't a sacrifice that I anticipated, or in a sense, it's kind of like I reluctantly went into the role of mother. So I probably would have been better off being a career type of mother, I would have felt more satisfied and more dedicated to my kids.

6:39 Cori: But in a way, I was in this this halfway house all the time of um being the mom and having this desire to do other things that I couldn't do. I'm sure that's something a lot of mothers go through.

6:53 Soraya: Of course, yeah, absolutely. Um, so when was it for you? Obviously, you know, you got married, you had these two children, you loved very much, but at what point did you decide that you couldn't carry on the marriage?

Love vs Compatibility: Warning Signs in Relationships

7:05 Cori: It had been bubbling for a really long time, and I I set myself a target. It was in in January 2014, I set myself a target of making a decision by the 26th of April, which isn't arbitrary, it's a very important date in the Buddhist calendar. I should mention that I've practiced Buddhism for many, many years, and um so I made that decision, and there were lots of little signs, but one of the defining moments for me was when we were out on the tennis court. I was quite gregarious and sociable at our tennis club.

7:46 Cori: He didn't like it. He didn't like, you know, the fact that there were people there who were who would drink and make jokes and muck around. And again, to be fair to him, he's an introverted person. Also very British, very public school. I'm American, as you can hear. So there was a mismatch there right from the start. But one time, and I know he wouldn't remember this, but I remember it so clearly. I walked on the tennis court and I was I saw there was someone I knew on the next court, and I said, Hey Dave, how are you doing?

8:20 Cori: And my husband literally turned to me under his breath and said, Shut up, Corey. And at that point, I was like, But again, I don't want this to be taken out of context. In relationships, and by the way, I used to be a relationship coach. There are lots of little microaggressions that build up over time that we don't see brewing, that if we knew how damaging and dangerous they were from the get-go, we would put a stop to it very quickly because it it they do compound over time, and so that wasn't completely out of context.

8:56 Cori: He didn't suddenly become someone who tells his wife to shut up. Yeah, because we had gotten into a pattern of arguing with each other, and I'm sure there will have been times when I said to him, Shut up, I'm sure of it. So I don't want it to be taken out of context, but it was like it wasn't the fact that he said shut up, it was the fact that he didn't respect and honor my gregariousness in that situation. That he didn't see that like so there would be other little things like I'd want to stay and have a laugh with people after we played a game, you know, this is tennis club culture.

9:34 Cori: Um and he just didn't. He wanted to go home, and that's fine, but he wanted me to go home with him, you know. So there was just uh this is something I know, again, from being a relationship coach, that you can love someone very deeply. Like I love and respect my ex-husband, but you can be totally incompatible, and people place way too much emphasis on love when the emphasis has to be on compatibility and seeing the signs of where you're chipping away, you know, the subtle signs. And there's a great relationship coach called um probably one of the most eminent people in the field called John Gottman, and he talks about the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and they are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

10:22 Cori: And I bet everyone who's listening to this will have seen that at some point in their relationship. Well, they are warnings, they are the harbinger harbingers of doom in a relationship. So if anyone's listening, keep an eye out, right?

10:40 Soraya: Yeah, no, absolutely. So, no, I understand that. So it's a bit like paper cuts over time, like the blood will brush out. You know, the little one little cut is okay, but then as they accumulate, it just gets worse and worse and worse. And at that point, I guess you'd make a decision. It's more healthy to separate as opposed to be together, even though you both might be great people, but just not working well together.

11:03 Cori: Right, exactly. Exactly. And I wish more people who are in divorce situations could come to see it that way. Rather than blaming.

11:14 Soraya: Yeah, it's much healthier. I mean, I I think ultimately at the beginning, everything was really great in that honeymoon phase, and you kind of fall into that pattern, and then you know, you do things to make the other person happy, and you kind of forget yourself along the way, right? And that's quite common, I see, as well, in women in general. It's usually women that kind of give. Usually is, absolutely. So you kind of woke up and you wanted to go back to being your authentic self, right? Is that that's the what I'm understanding?

Leaving a 20-Year Marriage and Starting Over at 57

11:43 Cori: Pretty much, but also I couldn't live with that level. That that really is it, actually, Soraya. I and also I couldn't live with the level of conflict, like the constant arguments. And I think we're both, you know, when I look at us, my current partner's very easy-going, and he he's happy to do what I want to do. And with my ex and I, we both wanted to be in charge of you know what holiday we were gonna go on and what we were gonna do, and whether we were gonna visit family or whether we were gonna do this or that, and you know, every little thing was was an argument.

12:23 Cori: And again, I want to take ownership of that and say, well, it takes two to want to control that. So it is a question of of um balance and being able to navigate that at any given point, you know, someone's gonna be making the decisions and someone else isn't is going to be conceding because we're not gonna agree all that, you know, someone has to compromise, basically. I mean, the the optimum is to be in a state of collaboration, but we we just couldn't reach that. And I just, you know, what happened was on that morning of the 26th of April, because it's scary, I was married for 20 years.

13:06 Cori: That's a long time. So we had built up this huge um bank of memories together, holidays together, struggles together, you know, loft conversion, blah blah blah, all the middle class dream, really. You know, we built up that history to suddenly dissemble that was a huge move. And I woke up on the morning of the 26th of April, 2014, and I didn't know what my answer was going to be. And as I sat down to do my spiritual chat practice, which is chanting, this this thought came into my head, which was you have to stand alone.

13:46 Cori: It was like this this, what we would call a download, probably. You have to stand alone. And um, and that was it. And I broke the news to him, telling my kids was absolutely, without any doubt, the worst day of my life. I mean, I can still, like if I think about it now, just the the the shock registering on their faces was horrible, really horrible. And nobody, I don't think anybody really wants to do that to a family, and even you know, more than 10 years down the line, if I think about it too deeply, there's still load a lot of grief around that.

14:26 Cori: I'm not sure that will ever go away. It's a bereavement, it's a bereavement, so you know, it is what it is. Life goes on. I have a great life.

14:37 Soraya: Yeah, how old were your kids at the time?

14:39 Cori: And you told them, this is awful. One was going through GCSCs and the other was going through A levels.

14:46 Soraya: Um, yeah, it's it is a really tough, it's a tough decision, but you know, it's one that you had to make, and I guess for the ultimate, like I don't think it's healthy anyway in the household where the parents are in that conflict all the time. A lot of parents they they feel they're doing the best for the children to stay together, but that that energy in the house is felt by everyone, and it's a cycle as well, and you want your children to see that healthy relationship, right? So it's um yeah, I get it.

15:14 Soraya: I've been for my own divorce, so I I understand. Um were there any moments when you regretted your decision? Because it was quite a big decision that you made, and obviously it was difficult to break the news.

Divorce, Finances and Women’s Financial Independence

15:26 Cori: Was there any time that you were when I when I saw you'd asked this question? I I really can't remember if there were any times when I regretted it, and I don't think there were. I think there were struggles, and our divorce wasn't wholly easy because again, then this is this relates to the overall dynamic. He was the person in charge of finances in the family. So um when it came to divorcing and the sort of seeding of control, that wasn't an easy process. So it was pr pretty ugly for a while. It's not now, we're we're fine now, but it was it was it was hard.

16:09 Cori: It was hard.

16:12 Soraya: That's also another common thing though in the breakdown is the the finances that always does get quite ugly, especially when it's the the the the husband can has been in control up until that point. But it's good that you work through it, right?

16:24 Cori: Yeah, but I really want to point out in fairness, I allowed him to control the finances. I didn't get my name put on the household deeds, I didn't ask for a joint bank account. So it's not like he's to blame, it's just that I colluded in that dynamic. Yeah, but I really want to stress this for the listeners. This isn't because this is a bad man, this is because I allowed it to happen. I didn't stand up for myself, and I see this all the time women blaming men, and I really don't like it because I I think it's it's not balanced.

17:06 Cori: It's like I take responsibility. Sorry, go ahead.

17:09 Soraya: I no, no, I understand what you're saying. I not necessarily he didn't tell you you can't be on the back of it, you didn't ask to be on it, but I think the whole dynamic in the relationship in general, where you say like you're the homemaker, he was out earning the money as the kind of traditional model, and in that mind we feel that he's taking care of that, and we kind of put it back. I've been there as well, so I get it. Yeah, but yeah, so you know, not to blame per se, it's just the dynamic of that traditional household where the woman stays at home, takes care of the home and the children, and you know, the food, and the man goes out to earn the money, and then when there's a breakdown, that's where we kind of have that issue, and it's a bit different it's harder kind of to get back on your feet when you're also kind of not sure about the finances.

17:53 Cori: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, the society in society, we don't uh I think um that's something that even of course it was much worse when I was a kid, and my parents got divorced as well. But I think people still don't understand how much women do at home, and it's a full-time job.

18:15 Soraya: Absolutely.

18:17 Cori: Even if they have help, it's still a full-time job. And so level that at the woman that will well, you had help, you had a cleaner, that doesn't mean it's not a huge responsibility because you're still managing the household.

18:32 Soraya: A lot of mental load, that's what I say, because obviously I work, I take care of my home, I take care of my kids. It's a lot of things going on. So I think that's really under people underestimate how much is involved. And I feel that when it comes to the divorce, when the women like they turn around and say, What about me? And the husband, you know, says you weren't working, but that's really unfair. Absolutely. So I think that's I'm not seeing a lot of my clients in that place right now. So over years and years being at home and then kind of trying to stand on their feet and understand the finances when they haven't really been involved.

Rebuilding Your Career and Life After 50

19:09 Cori: There's that about not understanding the finances when they haven't really been involved. Um, and there's also the fact of having been out of the workplace for a long period of time. Like I'm doing really well in my business right now, really well. I wonder if I'd started it 30, 40 years ago. Well, maybe 30 years ago, because my kid, my youngest is just my eldest has just turned 29. Wow. You know, wow, what what could I have created? What could I have built? Because I'm gonna be 70 this year. Looking great.

19:51 Cori: My life is just, I feel like my my business is just taking off.

19:55 Soraya: I love that.

19:57 Cori: Yeah, I know, and it's great because it will inspire so many people who are thinking, I'm 50, it's too late for me. I can turn to them and say, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And and I will say that when I got divorced, when I decided to leave, I was 57 years old. And at that time the thought was, am I really going to be able to make something of my life? So now here we are 12 years down the line, and I am making something of my life. Takes time.

20:31 Soraya: Yeah, but it's also a big leap of faith as well. Because, like you said, you know, you were in that relationship for so many years, you got a life together, and then to kind of leave that behind and go into a new chapter and not know what to expect, that's that's brave as well. Very inspiring. Thank you. No, and so what are the biggest lessons that you've learned from what you've been through?

Stop Shrinking: How to Reclaim Your Identity

20:58 Cori: The single biggest lesson is uh about remembering who you are and not dissembling that in service of someone else's vision. That's the biggest lesson. That's like just be who don't try and become something because and even I even see it in dating. Again, I used to be a dating coach, I've been on lots of dating myself, I've done this myself, trying to be what I think the other person wants. I think it's something we get taught from the minute we're born, actually, as women, that we're we're supposed to fit in, we're supposed to not speak too loud, we're supposed to be someone else's version of what they think we should be.

21:45 Cori: And I really hope it's changing, but I'm not sure it is, because the archetypes are so strongly embedded in in our psyche that that it it's it's very, you know, it's very hard to get over. That isn't to say there isn't a place for what you and I might call the divine feminine, but it's not the same as the helpless little girl and the yes daddy, I'll do that. You know, so that's the single biggest, that is the single biggest lesson that just because you think you're in love with someone, that doesn't mean you should give up who you are ever.

22:27 Cori: I remember quite early on, just after my divorce, I was talking to a guy who's a good friend of mine, and he was talking about a relationship where the two people in the couple fully support each other in what they're doing and what they're trying to achieve. And at the time, that was inconceivable to me, beautiful, but just not my experience of a relationship. And so now when I have a relationship like that, I'm like, wow. So no one's telling me what to spend my money on, no one's telling me how many hours I should work, no one's, you know, saying, why haven't you got dinner on the table for me?

23:14 Cori: None of that. And it's of course it's different because there are no children in the home, and that does make a huge difference. And that does mean that the apportioning of labor is different. But it's it's such a revelation that you can have a relationship like that where you can choose whether you want to be the mother and carer or whether you want to create a more equitable arrangement. By the way, just to say, I completely respect and admire women who want to get dedicate themselves wholly to the children.

23:52 Cori: That's great. That is not me. That never was me. And I tried to make it me, but it wasn't me. And my children have turned out great. So, you know, we again, it's this model. It's like be who you are. If you want to be a full-time mother and stop working and dedicate your time to your children and just and be that, then be that. But if you want to be someone who has a mission and a message and a business and wants to create something different, then you have to navigate that with either with your partner or you have to find another way.

24:33 Cori: That's my message, really.

24:35 Soraya: Yeah, no, I think it's um again, it's great that you were able to find love again and really see what it is to be in a good relationship where you're compatible. It's again like your ex-husband, there's nothing wrong with it, but together you didn't work, whereas with your current partner, you feel the difference, right? In the dynamic.

24:54 Cori: Absolutely.

24:55 Soraya: And if you could sit down with the woman you were before you changed, what would you say to her now?

25:03 Cori: Stop shrinking.

25:07 Cori: Be who you are, embrace who you are, do what lights you up. Find a way to uh navigate that with your partner or your husband if you have, you know, because that's what I w had. Uh right from the start, so that you don't it's like neural pathways, you know. Once you start the creating a groove, the groove gets deeper and deeper. It's like walking down, I see there's a field in front of my house. It's like it's like walking through a field. There's no path. But the minute you walk down that path, it starts to become a path.

25:46 Cori: You create a path, and then the path gets more and more and more and more set. And that's what you do in your relationship right from the get-go.

25:54 Soraya: Yeah, it's very easy, it's very difficult at the time during the honeymoon phase. You really want to make each other happy, don't you? And the problem is that it carries on that way, and then you know, years, years down the line, that's when you realize actually what's going on. Whereas what you're saying is obviously sensible from the beginning, you should just be yourself and just be have that relationship you want from the beginning. And I guess talk about what you want. I think a lot, I mean, I didn't really speak about what it is I actually see in the marriage when I got married the first time.

26:22 Cori: Did you well we we did? He talked about it. Oh, we did. Oh, yeah. He said, I want someone who's gonna be at home in the evening. I was at the time I was out doing local gigs, I was g going out in the evening with my little PA system, and he didn't want me to do that, so I stopped.

26:40 Soraya: Ah, okay, that's interesting. So you actually did have that conversation at the beginning, and you were willing to let go of that or okay.

26:48 Cori: In service of this great idea that I'd had since a very young age of I want to find the man of my dreams.

26:56 Soraya: Yeah. Okay. And how did your own journey naturally evolve into becoming a business and relationship coach?

Buddhism, Heartbreak and Personal Transformation

27:05 Cori: Um well, first it evolved into becoming a relationship coach because as I was I had already started doing a lot of personal development. I was in network marketing from about 2014 for seven years. Um, and I had started first of all, there was the Buddhism, which is a high level of personal development. Then there was the personal development, which amplified everything I already knew through my practice of Buddhism. And then I um Did you become did you study Buddhism during your marriage? When the Buddhism kind of this was a whole other sort of bone of contention.

27:44 Cori: I started practicing Buddhism in 1988. I got married in 1997. Oh wow, and my this is this is so unbelievable. The first time my husband heard me chanting was very early on in our relationship, and he said, I hate the sound of that chanting, I could never live with it, and you won't believe what I said.

28:12 Cori: I said, I'll do it quietly, or I'll do it when you're not around.

28:18 Soraya: Wow.

28:19 Cori: Yeah, I know. Yeah, like this is the per the woman you see right now in front of you, who's so strong and so clear speaking and clear thinking and truth telling, that's who I allowed myself to become. Anywhere that can happen to anyone. Of course it can. And it and I think a lot of it, of course, you know, could be related to childhood trauma and and the divorces, my the contentious divorces my parents went through, the fact that my father was married five times, and that this overarching ideal was make it work no matter what.

28:55 Cori: And I forgot to say also, you had a question somewhere in your list of questions. Um, you know, I can't remember what the exact question is, but the point is that the the the informing principle was I have to make this work. That's why I stayed. The question was, why did you stay? I have to make this work. What am I doing wrong? What can I change? Which is true. We do have to reflect on that, and we do have to see what we can change. We absolutely that's that's what grown-ups do. We take responsibility, but part of taking responsibility is recognizing when a difference is irreconcilable.

29:41 Cori: It's not trying to bend yourself to someone else. That's what the that's where the distortion came in. So I can't even remember what you asked me, but I did feel I I needed to share that because it's a really important point.

29:57 Soraya: No, sorry, I interrupted you. You were telling me about um how you got into Buddhism, but before I asked you how it started, and that's how we kind of diverged into the other story.

30:06 Cori: So I got into Buddhism again. This is so ironic. I got into Buddhism because I had been I'd been touring with a very well-known band as a singer, and I had fallen in love with one of the band members, and we were having an affair, and I'm sorry to say that this guy was married. Okay, I mean, I just this is not something I'm proud of, but I'm being honest with you because that's what I do. And one day his wife came out on the road with us, and he was telling me how broken his marriage was, and it really was broken.

30:51 Cori: So I thought, you know, like I'm gonna come in and be the one. His wife came out on the road, she could see telepathically what was going on between this guy and I, and suddenly he cut it off on that day. I got kicked out of the band, and I was devastated. I thought at that time that this man was the absolute love of my life. Like, you know, the the and it was uh really largely chemistry. He was funny, he was smart, he was a great musician, and all those things, but really it was the chemistry, and Esther Perel talks about this of the forbidden that I think locked us together, and so I already knew about Buddhism at that time, but I wasn't practicing, and I thought, you know, give me the pills, uh, give me the Buddhism because I'm gonna try this because I don't know what is gonna get me over this heartbreak.

31:56 Cori: But I was devastated, I'd lost my job, I I'd broken off with this guy. He still continued to call me, but I someone very wisely advised me just say, you know, I don't want to see you unless you're not with her anymore, which was really good advice. Very grateful to that person. I started chanting and very quickly overcome my addiction to this man just through chanting, just through embracing Buddhism. So that's how I started. So it's ironic. And then the big motivation in my chanting was find the prince, you know, find the man.

32:35 Cori: That's what we do. That's that's the way I was programmed. Gotta find the relationship. It's been a huge part of my life. And now that I have the relationship, I'm uh I'm like, yeah, it's great, but it's not the be-all and end all, actually. It's fabulous.

32:57 Cori: It greatly enhances my life, it makes my life better, which is what a healthy relationship should do. But if he was to walk out tomorrow, yeah, I'd be devastated, but I'd be fine.

Advice for Women Who Feel Stuck

33:13 Soraya: Yeah, thanks for sharing that, Clay. And so for women who are listening right now who feel stuck in their relationship, career, what would you say to them? What what kind of advice would you give to them?

33:30 Cori: Don't be scared. Just be you. Don't be scared. Just go for it. Just really don't let anyone tell you who you are, what you should be doing. Don't let anyone tell you you're bad. You have greatness within you. You absolutely do and do everything you can to step into that fullest expansion of who you are. That's what I would say. And if your relationship isn't is a barrier to that, you need to find a way to communicate with your husband or your partner. And if you can't, then you probably need to go.

34:14 Cori: But I would always advise to give it your best shot first. Because if you walk away knowing that you haven't tried your best, I think you're gonna have regrets because you're always gonna be asking yourself, like, when I walked away, I knew that I'd tried my best. I knew that I'd tried everything. Even still that little sneaky bit of doubt. Well, like, if I'd done this and if I'd done that, I'm like, no, because I only have to have one conversation with my ex-husband and him to ask me a question, like, you know, try and direct me in some way when we've been divorced over 10 years, for me to know that no, that's not the dynamic that I want.

34:58 Cori: But it's, you know, just make sure you try. Of course, if someone's domestically abusive, that's a that's just a complete red flag. Get the fuck out of there. But you know, other than that, see if but you gotta speak up, you can't just sit there and take it.

35:17 Soraya: Yeah. Um, and so for listeners who want to work with you, what kind of projects do you have at the moment? How can they get in contact with you to work? Because I know you mainly focus on business now, is it? There are also relationships as well.

35:32 Cori: I focus on, I mean, it's funny you should say that because I had one relationship client referred to me recently. The way I work, Soray, Soraya, sorry, is that I do tend to focus on business owners because I generally find that easier. Um because I think the process of getting out of a relationship, although I can definitely help or finding a great relationship, is very is more long-winded than than we think. And I uh I'm happy to help women like that, but mainly my job is to help women and men fulfill their dreams.

36:20 Cori: Really, that's what it is. Get committed, believe that through committing 100% to the life that you want, that you dream about, the dream that you don't even dare speak about, whatever that is, to take them on that path of expansion through asking them the right questions, because I believe that every single person has the answers within. Like even the women who are in toxic marriages, they do know. They do know. I just need to ask them the right questions to elicit that, and that's whether it's in business, relationships, whatever it is, health, less so.

36:57 Cori: That's you know, although I'm very interested in a healthy life, I would definitely refer someone to a health coach and not me. Um, but if it's a general what falls under the banner of life coaching, because this is your life, this is your current life. This is the only one you have of this life, yeah.

37:19 Soraya: Well, there's yeah, this current life, but others believe will come back into different respects.

37:24 Cori: Yeah, and I believe that too. But the point is, this is the only go you have this time around. So why wouldn't you want to make the most of it every time around?

37:33 Soraya: Agreed. Which leads me to my final question, which I always ask my guest. What does living a limitless life mean to you personally?

37:43 Cori: See, isn't that great? I love the fact that you use the word limitless, it's completely unlikely. My name in my company, limitless self. Yeah, which is which is exactly what I was talking about. Yeah. Um, it means being completely unafraid to pursue the dream that you don't even dare speak, to to like set yourself a goal that is ridiculous, and then take the step in front of you. So it's not like being in some airy fairy dream world of ah, you know, yes, you can have that vision, but really getting so committed um to that to that that you take step after step after step and be amazed, amazed at what unfolds.

38:39 Cori: Like I'm amazed, partly because I have a really great coach, you know. So that's what it means to me. Living a limitless life means embracing the idea that there are no limits.

38:55 Soraya: Well, you're a great example of that, Corey, to be in the marriage, to come out of it, to find love, to start a successful career. And you're 70. Right, you see you're 70, right, Corey. So in four months. In four months. Wow. Thank you so much, Corey, for joining today. It's been really inspiring. But before I let you go, how can people contact you? Is it through your website?

39:18 Cori: They can contact me through my website. I'm not that proud of my website because I don't use it very much, but that is the easiest way, coreejosias.com. Or just hit me up on Facebook. That's where I mainly am. Just your name. Yeah, and there isn't there isn't really anyone with my name with this. Well, there isn't anyone with my name with the spelling it is. So CoryJosias.com or look me up Cory Josiah on Facebook is probably the quickest way. C O R I J O S I A S.