Midlife, Menopause & Reinvention: What 26 Women Taught Me in One Year

<p><!--block-->Welcome to Hot Flushes &amp; Higher Self, the podcast where midlife becomes your awakening. I'm Soraya, a clinical hypnotherapist and transformational therapist, guiding women through perimenopause and beyond, embracing transformation rather than just symptom management. Each week, with inspiring women in wellness, we'll dive into mindset shifts, somatic tools, spiritual practices, and the candid stories that move us towards our limitless selves. So, if you're navigating perimenopause, menopause, or simply wondering, ‘What’s next for me?’, then you're in the right place. Let’s rise together—mind, body and spirit. This is Hot Flushes &amp; Higher Self.<br><br>Today's episode is a little bit different because it's just me, and there's a very special reason for that. It's now been an entire year since I first started recording this podcast, which I genuinely can't believe. And what makes it feel even more significant is that I'm recording this episode in Egypt, which is exactly where I recorded my very first episode last August. So in many ways, it feels as though I'm coming in full circle. And I'd wanted to have my own podcast for a really long time, but there was one problem. I had no idea what it would be about. And I didn't want to start a podcast simply for the sake of saying that I had one. I wanted there to be a reason for it. I wanted it to mean something.<br><br>Podcasts had already played a really big part of my own journey. About six years ago, I was listening to a podcast when I heard a hypnotherapist talking about the subconscious mind. And she was explaining how so many of our beliefs and behaviours can be connected to experiences we had much earlier in life. And something there just clicked for me. And I became curious and wanted to understand more. And that curiosity eventually led me to train as a hypnotherapist and completely changed the direction of my life and how I work. So I know firsthand that sometimes you can be listening to a conversation and somebody says something that just makes sense. It makes you think differently and sparks your curiosity. And sometimes it can even send you in a completely new direction.<br><br>So although I really wanted the podcast, it wasn't really until last summer that the subject became clear to me. I was having these conversations with women around my age, clients, friends, and family. And I began to notice the same questions coming up again and again: Am I actually happy? Is this relationship still right for me? Do I still want to be doing this work? And what do I want now? Who am I? Of course, perimenopause and menopause were part of the conversation, along with the physical and emotional changes that they can bring. But I kept thinking there must be more going on here than just hormones. It felt as though women were reaching this stage of life and beginning to just really reflect and see what they wanted. Because we have spent so many years working, raising families in some cases, supporting other people, and generally getting on with life. And then I think somewhere around midlife, something begins to shift. We start asking, what about me? What do I want the next part of my life to look like?<br><br>And that's really where the name Hot Flushes &amp; Higher Self came from. The hot flushes represent the very real physical experiences of menopause and midlife. But the higher self represents another part of the experience I was seeing in so many women, which was the desire to go inwards, question things, listen to ourselves and our intuition again, and really work out who we are now rather than continuing to be who we have always been for everybody else. And I just remember thinking this is the conversation that I really want to have.<br><br>So that's the story. Last summer, sitting here in Egypt, I just started to press record and just talk. And I've got to say I had no idea what I was doing. I had to learn everything from the basics, how to record the episode, how to interview the guests, and how closely I should follow my questions. And probably in the beginning, I spent too much time worrying about what my next question would be rather than just properly listening to what the woman in front of me was saying. So I'm really sorry to my earlier guests. I tried the best that I could at the time. But now, if a conversation takes us somewhere completely different from what I had planned, I've just learned to go with the flow. Because that's usually where the magic happens.<br><br>And the biggest surprise wasn't actually the interviewing. It was sort of everything that happened afterwards. I just didn't realise how much work was involved. There's the editing, titles, descriptions, show notes, SEO. I just completely underestimated how much work went on behind the scenes. And sometimes I questioned what I was doing, but I kept going.<br><br>And one year later, I have now interviewed 26 different women. And I think I need to pause and just acknowledge that for a moment because it's not always been easy, but I've done it. So as I tell my clients, I'm telling myself that I'm proud of myself.<br><br>And when I look back, what I love is how varied the conversations have been. We've spoken about different topics ranging from divorce, starting again, obviously menopause, nervous system regulation, nutrition, hormones, somatic work, family patterns, energy, and even energy within our homes. And there have been subjects I knew quite a lot about, and others I knew very little about. And some conversations left me thinking, I really want to learn more about it. And there are some personal stories that have stayed with me.<br><br>One example is Cori. She really inspired me. She got a divorce when she was 57 and began a really successful new career and found love again. And now as she approaches 70, she feels as though she's living the best part of her life. And I really love that because it challenges the idea that our opportunities somehow begin to disappear when we reach a certain age. Whereas maybe the opposite's true. And then Sass's story stayed with me for a different reason. She experienced divorce, significant upheaval, and not one but two house floods. And what came through from that conversation was her resilience, her changing identity, and the importance of learning to trust yourself when life doesn't go according to plan. And then there have been really unexpected moments, like when Dina gave me a live numerology reading, and I genuinely thought we were simply going to talk about numerology and how she coaches her clients. And the next thing I knew, she was actually giving me a live numerology reading. And it was so accurate that I remember just sitting there thinking, what is going on? I love those moments because I'm learning too.<br><br>And one of the things I've loved most about hosting this podcast is that I'm not standing on the outside pretending I already know all the answers. I don't. I'm learning alongside you. And often I think that life is a kind of school. Not a school where we're being tested or judged, but a place where we are all here to experience, grow, and learn. And I believe that we're all souls living through these human bodies, each having our own human experience. We arrive with different lives, different challenges, and different lessons to learn. And none of us have everything worked out, no matter how knowledgeable, successful, or spiritually aware we appear to be. The practitioners I speak to are learning. I'm still learning, and you, as a listener, are learning too. And sometimes we learn through joy and love and connection. And at other times, our greatest lessons come through heartbreak, loss, change, or the moments when life doesn't unfold in the way we expect. And maybe the aim isn't to reach a point where we finally know everything. Maybe it's to remain open, curious, and willing to grow as we move through this journey together. And I may understand some subjects from my own personal experience and therapeutic work, but other conversations I've had have introduced me to completely different ideas and ways of looking at things. Sometimes a guest may say something that changes my perspective. Sometimes I hear something I want to explore further. And I think that curiosity has always been at the heart of this podcast. I don't believe there's one practitioner, one modality, or one approach that holds every answer for every woman. We're all different. And we may need different types of support at different stages of our life. So as I look back over this first year, I don't only think about the guests I've interviewed, I think about what I've learned from them and what I hope we've been learning together.<br><br>And when I look back across all of these conversations, what stands out isn't only how different they've been, it's how often certain themes keep coming up, even when the guests have approached them from a completely different perspective.<br><br>The nervous system has been a huge one. Before some of these conversations, I understood the nervous system through my own therapeutic work, but hearing women explain it through different modalities helped me to see it in an even broader way. I feel so many women have become used to overriding what their bodies are telling them. We keep going when we're exhausted, we say yes when we want to say no, and we push through stress, overwhelm, and anxiety because there are people relying on us and things that need to be done. But sometimes we've been operating on that for so long that we don't even realise we're doing it. Being tense, busy, or constantly on alert begins to feel normal. But our bodies continue communicating with us. And that communication may appear as anxiety, difficulty sleeping, exhaustion, irritability, or just feeling unable to switch off. It might simply be the sense that we don't feel quite like ourselves anymore. And one of the things these conversations have reinforced for me is that our bodies are not working against us. They're often trying to get our attention. And maybe the question isn't always how do I get rid of this feeling? Sometimes it's what is this feeling trying to tell me?<br><br>We've also spoken about hormones, menopause, and nutrition. Of course, the physical changes happening during perimenopause and menopause are real. They can affect our sleep, mood, energy, concentration, weight, and how we feel within ourselves. But what's come through in so many of these conversations is that there isn't one single answer that will work for every woman. Our bodies, lifestyles and experiences are different. What helps one woman may not be right for another. And what I've taken from these conversations is the importance of becoming curious about our own bodies, rather than believing we have failed because something that worked for somebody else hasn't worked for us. And we can begin by noticing how different foods make us feel, what affects our energy, whether we're getting enough rest and what kind of movement generally supports us. It's not about creating another list of rules we have to follow perfectly. It's about learning to work with our bodies rather than constantly fighting against them.<br><br>And somatic work has been another recurring theme. Many of us try to understand everything through our thoughts. We analyse why we feel the way we feel, we talk about it and we try to think our way out of it. And of course, don't get me wrong, understanding is important. I work with the mind and subconscious beliefs myself. But these conversations have reminded me that our experiences are not held only in our thoughts. Our bodies can hold tension, fear, and stress, even when our conscious minds believe we have moved on. And sometimes healing isn't about finding more words. Sometimes it's about breathing, moving, slowing down, and just allowing the body to complete something it didn't feel safe enough to process at the time. And that's been an important reminder for me. True transformation can involve the mind, but it also needs to involve the body.<br><br>We have also explored family patterns and the beliefs we form early in life. And this is obviously very closely connected to the work I do with the subconscious mind. So many of the behaviours women judge themselves for—people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, struggling to say no or constantly seeking reassurance—didn't simply appear from nowhere. At some point, these behaviours may have helped us feel safe, accepted, loved or in control. Maybe we learned that being good meant keeping everybody else happy. Maybe we believed that we had to achieve in order to be valued. Or maybe it felt safer to stay quiet, avoid conflict, and not take up much space. We carry these patterns into adulthood without consciously choosing them. Then at midlife, we may suddenly realise that the way we have always lived no longer feels right. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with us. It may simply mean that an old way of protecting ourselves is no longer serving the woman we have become.<br><br>Identity and reinvention have probably been among the most powerful themes of this first year. We've heard women speak about divorce, changing careers, rebuilding their lives, finding love again, and beginning entirely new chapters at ages when society sometimes suggests we should be settling down and becoming less ambitious. And their stories have reminded me that it's never too late to make a different choice. Midlife can shake our sense of identity. Our children may need us differently. Relationships can change, our bodies change, the work that once fulfilled us may no longer feel right. And that can be really unsettling at first. But it can also create space. For years, we may have defined ourselves by our roles—mother, wife, daughter, partner, employee or carer. And then midlife asks us a different question, which is who are you underneath all of those roles? Not who does everybody else need you to be, but who are you now and what do you want?<br><br>And we've also explored energy, intuition, spirituality, and what it means to connect with our higher selves. Different guests have described this in different ways, but I think the message underneath has always been very similar. It's about learning to listen to ourselves again. So many of us look outside ourselves for answers. We ask what other people think, search online, compare ourselves, and look for somebody to tell us what the right decision is. And there's nothing wrong with asking for guidance, but sometimes we've become so used to listening to everyone else that we can no longer hear our own voice. And connecting with your higher self doesn't have to mean having all the answers or being deeply spiritual. For me, it can be as simple as becoming quiet enough to notice what feels true for you, what expands you, what drains you, what are you tolerating, what keeps returning to your mind? What would you choose if you trusted yourself? Even some of the more unexpected subjects, numerology, energy work and the energy within our homes have encouraged me to stay curious. I don't have to understand or believe everything before I have the conversation. I can listen, I can ask questions and decide what resonates with me. And maybe that's one of the things I've enjoyed most about creating this podcast. It's given me permission to be curious, to ask questions, to want to know more.<br><br>Despite all the different topics and approaches, I keep returning to the same single questions. What do I need? What's my body telling me? What do I actually want? And what feels right for me? And maybe these questions have become so important in midlife because many of us have spent years listening to everybody else, our children, partners, parents, work, and what society expects from us. And we've been told what we should do, what we should look like, and who we should be. And then something shifts and we begin to think, wait a second, what about me?<br><br>Something else that has stayed with me is how several guests have spoken about the way older women are viewed in different cultures. Traditionally, the older woman was often revered as the wise woman. She's lived. She's experienced love and loss, made mistakes, learned from them and accumulated wisdom. People used to look to her for advice because of everything she had experienced. Now, compare that with so much of the messaging women receive in mainstream culture today. Stay young, look younger, don't show your age, hide the grey, get rid of the wrinkles. It's almost as though ageing is something we're supposed to fight. And don't get me wrong, I'm not going to pretend I don't have my skincare routine or I don't dye my hair because I do. I do those things because I want to feel good, and that's okay. But why can't both things be true? We can want to look and feel our best, but also recognise that getting older brings something incredibly valuable. Experience, wisdom, perspective, and hopefully being a little less concerned about what everyone else thinks. And while I've been here in Egypt, I was talking to my aunt who's 73. I asked her how old someone was and she said to me, Soraya, I never ask anyone their age because age is just a number. Once you focus on that number, you begin psychologically telling yourself what you can and cannot do. And she told me, I'm 73, and I'm still as active as I've always been because I don't believe my age should stop me. And it made me think how easily we allow a number to dictate what we believe we should be doing. And maybe it's not our age that limits us, but the meaning we attach to it.<br><br>During the second year of this podcast, I'll be turning 50 next year, and I'm genuinely excited about it. I don't feel as though I'm winding down. I feel as though there are things I'm only just beginning to create. And that's probably why these conversations about midlife mean so much to me. I'm not talking about midlife transformation from the outside; I'm living it too. And I don't think I would have had all of these conversations about change and transformation without also looking at myself.<br><br>And one of the biggest changes I've noticed personally has been around visibility. I've always been quite shy and naturally introverted. Putting myself out there hasn't always felt comfortable. So there's something slightly ironic about the fact that I'm choosing to host a podcast and I've now interviewed all of these women, hosted retreats and groups, given talks and shared myself more on social media. I'm literally sitting here speaking into a microphone and hoping people listen to me. I'm still an introvert and that hasn't changed. But I realise that being visible doesn't mean having to be the loudest person in the room. And it doesn't mean becoming somebody you're not. All it means is you're willing to use your voice.<br><br>And I think I also want to be honest about the first year. The podcast hasn't suddenly become huge. It hasn't brought hundreds of clients through my door. And yes, I've looked at the download figures after spending hours working on an episode and wondering why am I doing this? But then I'll get a message from somebody telling me that an episode resonated with them. Someone will share an episode with another woman, or somebody will tell me that a conversation made them stop and think about something differently. I've also made my own connections, learned so much, and formed relationships that are now becoming collaborations. And it's reminding me that numbers aren't the only way to measure what something has created.<br><br>The podcast has also helped me gain so much more clarity about what I want the next stage of my work to look like.<br><br>I really have loved hosting my women's retreats over the last couple of years. There's something incredibly special about bringing women together and giving them the space to connect with one another and themselves and just focus on their own needs for a change. But I just feel the retreat that I'll be hosting this November will probably be my final UK retreat for now. It's not because I'm finished with retreats, I'm definitely not. I love hosting them and creating that safe space, but I just want to explore what can happen when women are supported over a longer period of time because I find that you can attend an amazing retreat or have an incredible therapy session, listen to an inspiring podcast, or experience a huge realisation. But then you go home, Monday comes, and everyday life begins again.<br><br>And that has led me to create a small 12-week transformational experience for women, which I'm planning to launch in February 2027. And I'm keeping it small for a reason because I want it to feel personal. It's going to combine deep one-to-one subconscious work with me, group support, and community, alongside contributions from three women you've already heard on this podcast. They will bring somatic work, energy work, and higher self-activation into the experience. And I really love that some of the conversations and connections created through the podcast are now naturally turning into these collaborations. And the experience I've created has also been shaped by something these conversations have reinforced for me, that there isn't one single approach that supports everyone. And we're not just our minds, we're not just our bodies, and we're definitely not our hormones. It is also about community, and that sense of camaraderie can be incredibly helpful. I'll share more about the new 12-week experience nearer the time.<br><br>Although November will be my final UK retreat for now, I'm also beginning to explore the possibility of hosting a transformational women's retreat here in Egypt on the Red Sea towards the end of next year. It's still really early and there are no dates yet. But if you're hearing ‘women's retreat on the Red Sea’ and you're thinking, oh, that sounds interesting, then keep listening because I'll share more as it develops.<br><br>And maybe the biggest thing I've learned over the first year is that you don't always need to know where something is going before you begin. I definitely didn't. Sometimes you can just follow your curiosity, take the first step, and just allow the path to reveal itself. And I know how powerful one conversation can be because one conversation changed the direction of my own life. And I don't expect every episode of this podcast to change somebody's life. But if one conversation helps a woman think differently, feel less alone, listen to herself, or simply plants a seed that she comes back to later, then that means a lot to me.<br><br>Because this is my one-year anniversary episode. I want to say thank you. Thank you to all of those women who have trusted me with their stories, knowledge, and experiences. And thank you to every single person who's listened. Whether you've been here from the beginning, you dip in and out depending on the subject, or you've only just discovered Hot Flushes &amp; Higher Self. Thank you, thank you, thank you.<br><br>And I'd love to hear which guest story or conversation from this first year has stayed with you. Everything about how you can work with me, including my final UK retreat this November, my one-to-one work, and what's coming next can be found in the show notes.<br><br>One year, 26 conversations and countless lessons later, I'm heading towards 50, feeling excited and hopeful for the new chapter. Thank you for being part of this first year. Thank you so much for listening.<br><br>If today's conversation resonated with you, please follow and subscribe to the podcast, leave a rating, review, or comment, and share this episode with someone who may need to hear it. Every follow, review and share helps this conversation reach more women. And if something you heard today made you realise that you're ready to create change in your own life, I'd love to support you. You'll find all the details about working with me along with my upcoming circles, retreats, and resources in the show notes. Until next time, remember, midlife isn't the beginning of the end. It can be the beginning of your most powerful chapter yet.</p>