How to Create a Calm Home in Midlife | Feng Shui, Energy Healing & Reconnecting with Yourself with Shani | Hot Flushes & Higher Self

0:15 Shani: Hi, I thank you so much for having me on. It was a pleasure to meet you recently in London. So my name is Shanie and I'm the founder of Roots and Rituals Interiors. And I'm a Feng Shui consultant and I work with energy space clearing and energy healing within people's homes and spaces. I've worked with retreat centers, with podcast studios, with I've worked on a cacao farm. I did a clearing for a cacao farm. So I've worked in all sorts of different environments, both in person and remotely. And the journey to get here was it's quite some story.

0:48 Shani: So I'll try and summarize it in a very brief way. Before I had this business, I was an energy healer and I worked with ancestral healing and breathwork. So I'm a trained breathwork facilitator as well, though I don't actually practice that anymore with clients. And around 2023, I had a very strong notion that we needed to leave England again. I'm my traveller, I love to travel and um and to go to Latin America. So my partner and I went off traveling for it was supposed to be for a year, ended up being two years.

1:24 Shani: And during that time, I had a very, I was still working with clients with my breath work practice and my ancestral healing practice. I was holding women's circles online. I had my clients online. And it got to around halfway through our travels. And um I just got a very clear message from I'm I'm kind of I'm clear audience, so I hear very clear messages um that come to me, and I kind of get these whispers of what where I need to go next. And I always listen because it's always true. And um, and I just got a very clear message that I needed to stop that business.

1:59 Shani: I had a podcast, you know, community website, everything, regular clients, and I I put it all down and um I stopped it all. And then I just waited until the next message kind of dropped in for what I was meant to be doing.

Shani's journey from energy healer to Feng Shui consultant

2:13 Shani: And at that time we were staying in a house in Mexico called Casa Espiral, which means roundhouse, and it was a house based on the five elements of wind, water, air, um, fire, and ether. And every time I went into that house, it was like I could feel it had the potential to flow better, and it just wasn't. And there was something in there that made me feel like it was a beautiful space, it was a big space, you know. We were very, very blessed to live there for about almost five months. Um, but there was just something about it that wasn't right for me, and I I wanted to change it all, but I couldn't because we were just renting it, it wasn't ours at the time.

2:50 Shani: And um, and it was around that time that I started to kind of I was already using light language, which is a channeled language that um that I use to clear energy most of the time, and then to I like to think of light language as it's like um you know, when you code a computer and you have like computer code coming down and you're programming a program in your computer, and you can rewrite that program, right? And so we carry a lot of beliefs and stories and ideas around things, and I use light language to essentially rewrite the story to recode.

3:23 Shani: So I was using a lot of that anyway with my clients all the time for clearing in their energy field, and then I started doing it for spaces.

3:33 Soraya: Can I stop you for one second, just sorry to interrupt you? Because I was there, that's when I met you at that networking event when you did the demonstration of the light language. So, where is where's the because it just sounded so foreign, obviously. Where is it from? It just sounded like it's a completely different language.

3:51 Shani: Well, it well, it is so it's channeled, it's completely channeled. It's not something that I it's like I'll channel whatever needs to come through in that moment for that specific person or that specific space. Um, a lot of people that channel light language say that it comes from a star language. So before we came to planet Earth, we were star beings and we came from different different star constellations. I know which star constellation I come from. I come from a constellation called Lyra. And um yeah, we we probably had these languages that we spoke, and we we would also communicate in very different ways, like in in with telepathy, um, through kind of like you know, um intuitive connections in a very, very different way to the way that you and I are speaking now in the English language, which essentially is a fairly still a fairly modern language.

4:42 Shani: Um, and so when I channel light language, it's not something that I'm thinking about, I'm just the vessel and it comes through me. And whatever is coming through is there to help clear the energy and to rewrite it. So sometimes I'll channel light language through singing, sometimes through speaking, and sometimes through movement of my hands. I also write it, um, but it just depends what needs to come through. And there are there are various languages that come through for me, depending on the person, the space, and then and the necessity of what what we need to clear in that in that moment.

5:15 Soraya: But it is actually a language, this light language, which so you learn this light language.

5:18 Shani: I didn't learn it, no. It just it no, I didn't learn it. It just it's it's like it's already in me. And then actually my partner um speaks and sings and channels light language, and um, and when he moved in with me and we he was using it with me in ceremonies or uh in healing sessions with me, then I I think it activated what was already in me. And one day I was just standing doing the washing up, and it just came out of my mouth, and I just started to speak in this language, and I was like, What is this?

5:49 Shani: I think in that moment, I was like, I think I'm speaking light language, but I didn't know what it meant, and I didn't, it was the first time it had ever happened, so it was it was already like it was within me, and then someone else, by being in that space and and you and and channeling their own light language, which is different to mine, it kind of activated it within me. And then I started to use it in my breath work journeys and my healing sessions, and it was it was I could physically and energetically see that it was clearing things from my clients in that moment.

6:22 Shani: Um and they would they would tell me, like, oh yeah, I'm feeling this energy moving. Oh, I feel so much lighter afterwards, like it was like an instant, instant healing. And so, yeah, it's just been using it ever since and and using it um to clear spaces, and and um it's very powerful. It's very, very powerful because it just it's almost like I'm not in the way, like I'm just the vessel. It's like it's bigger than me. I I have nothing to do with it.

6:48 Soraya: I'm just intrigued by this language. So, but so you and your partner both have speak like language, but it's they're not the same, or do you understand each other?

6:56 Shani: Not the same. So we we both sing, speak, move our hands, um, and write, but they're different. Yeah, our languages are different. We come from different star constellations.

7:08 Soraya: So so like we've gone on the diversion. I'm just so in interested by this language.

7:14 Shani: Yeah, well, it is like I think everybody has the capacity to tap into it. Um, and and sometimes it just takes, as I said, like somebody else to activate it in you, or it takes like the courage just to open your mouth and just and just see what sounds want to come out. For for me, it's like I don't, I don't even um, it's not something I'm consciously doing. It's like uh like I don't have to think about it. It's not like I have to think about what I want to say, it just comes out and and I and I trust that whatever is coming out of my mouth and however my hands are moving.

7:52 Shani: It's it's there to I can feel it clearing the energy. I can feel what I'm doing. I it's like it's like almost like I can feel the energy shift within my hands as I'm doing it. So it's not um, yeah, it's not something I like consciously think about to do. It just does, it just is.

8:14 Soraya: Ah, okay. Yeah, no, because I witnessed it firsthand, so it was really interesting to see. So that's why I wanted to ask a bit more about that. Oh, I actually didn't have a chance on the day.

8:24 Shani: It's also known as um, some people call it soul language. You know, like we all we've you know, this is a complete diversion from obviously feng shui and and and what I'll we'll talk about, but but it's I I blend this together with my feng shui because feng shui is energy healing, right? So it's just for spaces. Um, and it takes into account, you know, the the the spirits of people's spaces and the ley lines and the directions and the and the elements, and so all of this is very relevant because we lived in a natural world at one point, and we've been so disconnected from that natural world and so disconnected from nature that we've kind of forgotten our true soul, and so light language is also known as soul language, and it's it's kind of almost like the first um the first language that was encoded into our souls before we became humans in this particular body at this particular time on earth.

What is Light Language? Understanding soul language and intuition

9:23 Shani: So you could probably argue that your soul has been in multiple incarnations throughout time and space. I I think so.

9:32 Soraya: I believe that too, yeah. So we keep coming back, it's just our vessels and we're souls ultimately that keep coming back over and over again.

9:41 Shani: Exactly. And so I think for me, like light language or or soul language, it's almost you know, when I refer to it as a star language, it's because there were beings and civilizations living in star constellations before we came to this earth, and we're bringing that, it's like a remembrance of of our lineage and where we came from, and you know, some of my some of my light language sounds quite Aramaic, and it makes sense to me because my ancestors way back would come from that region of the world.

10:14 Shani: And when I hear, even when I hear Aramaic now, it stirs something up within me. I've never learned it, I've never been taught it, I've never read it in schools or anything like that. But when I hear it being spoken or sung, it like stirs something up within my soul, like it brings up emotions for me, and it's it's as if I've lived that I've lived in that time where that language was was part of my my existence. Fascinating. Yeah.

10:39 Soraya: Well, going back to um the environments, what was there a particular moment when you realize the environment deeply affects our emotional well-being and nervous system?

10:51 Shani: Yeah, a hundred percent. Like, well, for me, it's always it's always been that way for me. Um, every environment has always affected me very, very deeply. Um, and like I said, like it really clicked into place when we were traveling, particularly just because we were in so many different spaces and different houses and and you know, moving. And every time we'd come into a different, a different house or a different space, and not just a house or a space, but different land within a different country, I would I would start to feel a lot stirring within me.

11:25 Shani: And it would start to bring up, you know, parts of me. It's almost like for me, the land and environment very much reflect, it's a mirror reflection of where you're at. And there are certain lands and environments where we walk into that space and you just get like a like my spirit feels lifted here, or I feel calm here, I feel relaxed, I feel instantly at ease. And then there are other environments and other lands, you you step on it or you step into it, and instantly your body reacts, right? Your body knows you have some kind of um you may not know why, but you definitely will feel that reaction, whether it's a tightening or a contraction or a you know, an increased heart rate or a palpitation or just a feeling that it's not the right place to be for you.

12:12 Shani: And in those environments, it can be very, very detrimental to your well-being a hundred percent. And I've you know, I was a teacher for many, many years, and I worked in a whole variety of schools, and some school, this some of the school environments I were in were just I knew they were detrimental, not only to me, but to the students, and I was constantly trying to like vibe up my classroom and bring in plants and bring in natural cleaning products and bring in colour and bring in ways, and and and it was I tried to always make the environment more um yeah, more alive, I would say.

12:48 Shani: Like the environment's quite dead in schools, and I would try and make it more alive and more more available for students to have that breathing space. Um, and it's not easy to do that, and so yeah, for me, I definitely I definitely feel very affected by my my environments, my home surroundings are very important to me. Um, interiors are important and energy are important.

13:11 Soraya: Yeah, so I guess you incorporate what you do, like the energy work and the feng shui together, right? To kind of help clip out. And you know, in in your um presentation, you talked about like the order of you gave an example of the desk, which really I came home and changed my location like desk from one end of the room to the other. Yeah, you're explaining how the back that you have to have a backer.

13:32 Shani: Yeah, yeah.

13:33 Soraya: So, I mean, little things like that obviously make a difference as well, right?

13:37 Shani: Yeah, so feng, you know, feng shui is a very, very ancient practice, it's it's full of ancient wisdom. Feng shui as we know it now, or classical feng shui, which is what I trained in, is the original feng shui. I mean, it dates back somewhere between 3,000 to 6,000 years in ancient China, but we could also argue that way way beyond feng shui as we know it now, there, you know, the our ancestors who were building sacred sites and temples and their version of churches and their versions of schools and their versions of mystery schools, like they understood how to build spaces that would hold sound frequency, generate their own electricity, work with the constellations of the stars, work with the cardinal directions, work with the ley lines, work with water sources, and work with the spirits of the land.

14:29 Shani: Now, nowadays, our buildings are nothing like that unless you've got an architect who is very interested in you know recreating those sorts of spaces. You think about the majority of buildings that most people are spending their time in, like schools, offices, hospitals, train stations, like London. You live in London, this is like a prime example. There's so many buildings in London. It's just not conducive to the environments that allow us to thrive as humans because we were connected with nature, and that's that is essentially what feng shui is.

15:07 Shani: It's it's creating harmony and balance between your environment and the human, right? Through this, through this yin-yang, this masculine, feminine, the polarity, the balance, and using the five elements of water, earth, wood, metal, and fire to use those elements to have them in balance and harmony within your space so that the energy and the qi, as they call it, is flowing. And when it starts to flow, they understood that this brings you more prosperity. That was originally why feng shui was used to bring more prosperity to the dynasty, to the you know, the emperors.

15:45 Shani: But it also brings you uh it can help in your relationships, it can help with your sleep, it can help with your health. There are so many areas that feng shui can be used for within your life in a more holistic view, which is really, really powerful. Yeah, and there are many, many huge businesses out there that understand this and hire feng shui masters to feng shui their spaces.

16:09 Soraya: It's strange though, you like you know, like ancient civilizations, they were doing all of this, like even the pyramids. I was watching a documentary about the pyramids, the way they were built, and actually originally they were built by the water and everything was designed with an intention, whereas now we are so kind of drifting away from that. And I kind of wonder is it by design the way the society is going and civilization?

16:32 Shani: So I would agree, yes, it's fully by design. I you know, you think about the original. Look at you, even have to look at like cathedrals to see how they were designed and how they were built. They're chambers for prayer, they're very powerful with the arches and the acoustics and the way that it's formed. And it's like now we live in these flat-roofed, you know, high-rise buildings, so far away from the earth, so far away from the ground, disconnected, right? Yeah, very, very disconnected. And and that's exactly why I love to work, you know, with the blend of feng shui, with the blend of of energy healing and the light language, and working also with what I call the spirits of the land or the spirits of your space, because every space and home and place has a spirit, right?

17:19 Shani: Not just a spirit as in an essence, which it does, but also like who is living there before you, what was happening there before you, what was on the land before you. Yeah, like it's fascinating to me that there is so much hidden and encoded in the land, and the land remembers. And that is why sometimes when you go to certain countries or certain places, or even places within England, let's say, you will have a certain reaction.

How your environment affects your nervous system and emotions

17:49 Shani: You'll be like, Oh, that's making me emotional being here, or that's bringing up some anger, or that's bringing up this is bringing up bliss and joy, or you know, you feel more grounded in certain spaces, you are always reacting to the elements and to the spirits and the spaces of what happened there before. And if you have any kind of connection to past lives or to incarnations that you might have had, you might reach a certain place and go, I recognize this place. Why is this place familiar to me?

18:22 Shani: I've never actually been here, but I feel like I've been here, you know?

18:26 Soraya: Yeah, yeah, completely.

18:28 Shani: Have you had that feeling before?

18:30 Soraya: Yeah, I have, yeah. What you're saying will make sense to me. Like I've experienced those things. Um, but going back to women in midlife, just you know, I think a lot of women in midlife they are looking for a bit more peace and grounding in their lives. So, how can they recreate that in the space around them? What kind of advice do you have for that?

18:53 Shani: Yeah, a hundred percent. Well, I wouldn't say I'm quite midlife, but I am turning 40 this month. So I I understand the desire for ease and for groundedness. You know, there's several several ways that you can do that. I think for me, the way I work with Feng Shui, it's not just about the space, it's also about the person and what they're going through in their life. So when I meet with with clients, I will, you know, dive into what's happening for them and what challenges they're facing and how can I support that best through the space, through the environment, because your you know, I consider your home, your your body and your soul as your your home temple, your body temple, and then you've got your your home, your outer space, your action temple.

19:40 Shani: And we want to tend to the temple, right? It's a living temple, it's moving, it's breathing, you are moving and breathing, the space is moving and breathing. So depending on what you're going through in your midlife, whether it's to do with health, if if you're having specific health issues, um, I would suggest looking at a flying star chart for your home, which is what I use in Feng Shui. That's where I calculate like the specific energy for your home specifically, and it's it's different for every single person, it's unique.

20:11 Shani: From there, I can work out where your center gua or your center room or your center palace is, and then we can see what the energy is going on in that because that represents health and vitality, the center of your home. Everybody's center of their home on the map is not necessarily what you might think as the center physically in your home. So, yeah, it could be in the center of your home that you, you know, there's illness stars coming up in the flying stars, and I can see ah, that's affecting this part of your body because within Feng Shui, it's also um linked to TCM, traditional Chinese medicine.

20:50 Shani: So every every palace or gua or room in your house that's on the bagwa map that we use to calculate the energy in your home, it's also related to different organs, different elements, different colours. So it's quite in-depth. And I can see from that space in your home, like, okay, what's going on energetically uh within your body, and what can what remedies can we put into your home to help you with that? That's one way to approach it. Let's say it's intimacy, like you're struggling with intimacy in your relationship, or your libido's low, or you're just feeling you know disconnected from your from your partner, or you're single and you're trying to call in that that partner, then I would look at your southwest, which is your love and relationship space, see what's going on there.

21:37 Shani: It doesn't necessarily fall in your bedroom, right? It could fall in your kitchen, depending on your map. So we need to see what's going on in that space. For example, for for me, when I did the the flying stars chart for my house, um, my southwest guar was entirely missing from the map. It's actually outside in my garden, and that represents my relationship, love and relationships. And my partner and I were having a difficult time. And he was like, right, let's put in the remedies. Let's go. He was super keen to do it.

22:07 Shani: And I and I realized that it was missing from the home and it falls in the garden. So, and it was represented for me. I needed to add the remedy of fire. So we bought a whole bunch of plants in like reds and purples and oranges. And we we put them against the wall that would be the southwest, like a lining wall. So we created like a fire passion, you know, spark in our garden. And it and it has made a huge difference to our relationship. Like it's yeah, lots has changed. And it's because we intentionally, it's also about the intention.

22:38 Shani: Like we we saw that that was missing. We're like, well, yeah, the spark is a bit missing from our relationship, actually. Like we want to bring back a bit more of a spark. And we did that. And and because we we spoke about it and we we actioned it and then we did that. It like combined, it has created a big difference. So it really depends on you know what that woman is going through in midlife, like what she what her struggles are.

23:02 Soraya: What about like a woman in midlife? A lot of them feel kind of disconnected from themselves, losing their way, like they don't know what they want, and you know, they don't feel like themselves anymore. What would you recommend? Like around the the space that they're in.

23:17 Shani: Yeah. So if it's your home, okay, and you feel disconnected from yourself, you probably feel quite disconnected from your environment. And there could be a number of factors, you know, there could be hormonal factors that are at play for that. And then there could literally be like, Oh, I'm losing a sense of purpose, or um, my kids are growing up, or I don't have kids yet, or you know, there's all sorts there's all sorts of different, and and again, this is why it's really important to tap into that person's unique life and what's going on for them.

23:47 Shani: But in terms of the space, I think it's really important when we go through these big thresholds and these big transitions, like you know, I said I'm just about to turn 40, it's a big threshold, right? It's a for me, I feel like it's a really big threshold to cross. And for me, it's like, well, what version of myself, or I'd ask that woman, like what version of yourself no longer feels in resonance with you? Like, what part of you are you no longer in alignment with? And what can we do to let go of that?

24:18 Shani: Right. And it might be just it might be very obviously in your space, right? There could be old, um, you know, it could be anything in your space, artwork, old cards that you receive from people, bank statements that don't reflect where you're at financially anymore, where you want to be financially anymore. Um, it could be that your office is just not reflecting the type of work that, you know, if you work from home or if you're an entrepreneur, or even if you, you know, you're just using that office space as a place to go and be.

24:48 Shani: What is it on your desk? Is it speaking to you? Is it part of who you are anymore, or is it an old version of you? And what have you outgrown? Right. And that could be as simple as going into your wardrobe and decluttering clothes and things that, you know, any clothes that don't make you feel good in yourself, any clothes made of bad material that's not good for your hormones. You know, there are so many ways that we can we can look at like reframing and decluttering those parts of ourselves, um, and doing, you know, journeys and ceremonies.

25:19 Shani: I like to work with the element of fire for ceremony and water. So I encourage like burn ceremonies and water ceremonies and and ways to work with the elements to let go and call in different versions of ourselves. So, yeah, it depends on on that woman and and and why she feels disconnected and what she's looking to connect back with, I would say as well. That way we can look at like specific areas of the home.

25:43 Soraya: Yeah. And what does home mean to you on a deeper emotional or energetic level?

25:48 Shani: Oh wow, I've been on a big journey with this one. I think that's partly why I came into this work as well. You know, I mentioned about our two years of traveling, but I've I've been traveling all my life and and not just in this lifetime, like my ancestors have been dispersed, um, kicked out of many countries and had to be on the road and very nomadic for a long time. So for me, I had like a very big journey, um, you know, ancestrally around like where is home? What is home? I don't really know what home means to me, other than you know, like a uh four walls around me.

26:25 Shani: But that's not really that's nice and it's comforting and grounding, but it's not home. And I think for me, what I've learned, I've lived in three different countries, I've traveled to like over 50 countries. I think for me it's like, and I felt like I was always running away, like I was always looking for the next place, right? And never really feeling safe. And I think home is is about safety and it's finding that safety within. And when you this is why your internal environment, your inner temple, and your outer temple are so so symbiotic.

26:59 Shani: Because if you don't feel safe in yourself, you're never gonna feel safe in the in the external environment. And if you don't feel safe in your external environment, you're not gonna feel safe in yourself. And so it's really about cultivating a sense of safety that like you can find that anchored within yourself, and and and that is why I call my brand roots and rituals, because the more rooted you are in yourself, in your inner temple, then the more rooted you become in your outer temple, your home, or your office or your environment where you work, the more you can rise right in your radiance.

27:34 Shani: And I like to do this through ritual. That's just the way I work. I like to bring in ceremony and sacredness into the space and create sacred spaces for people that become sanctuaries for them where they feel that sense of safety, where they feel that sense of grounding. And I think I've learned over time that that really the ultimate home is the one that you build within yourself, you know, and and then from there I can look at my external environment and go, okay, or this is not aligning with the version of who I am now.

28:06 Shani: What do I do to change that? You know, or where do I need to grow? Where have I outgrown? Where do I get to go next? Um, and I think for me that ultimate home is is yeah, finding that within you.

28:19 Soraya: Yeah, that's a great answer. That's true, though. I think what once you're like being safer than yourself, it's that's I think the basis of all of it, really.

28:28 Shani: Yeah, 100%. And and you know, then from that place, you can start to tap in to other environments in a different way, and you can be more discerning about what environments are good for you and what environments are not good for you.

28:41 Soraya: Yeah, true. And what are some kind of common patterns you see in women who feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or burnt out in their homes?

28:51 Shani: Yeah, I would say for sure there's too much going on in the house, right? And it could be, I mean, often women in mid-age are not necessarily living alone as well. So we need to take into account other people's energy in the space because it's not just your space. Maybe you have children, a partner, like I don't know, other family members potentially living with you. I don't know. Um, so there is definitely like a bigger picture to look at with the energy in the environment of you know, what's going on for your kids and what's going on for your partner, and um, or even if it is just you, I would I would say that like overwhelm manifests in a lot of kind of chaotic clutter, um, or just too much of too many things that feel um I'm seeing like pictures in my mind, it's hard for me to use the words in this moment, but like um okay, so for me, when I came back to I'll use an example.

29:46 Shani: When I came back into this house, I've had this house for a while. We went away, obviously, other people were living in the house, and I could feel from a distance I could feel how much they were neglecting my house. Like I was really attached to the spirit of my house, and I could feel it, and it was making me very anxious and very upset. And I didn't realize, I mean, I did realize, but not to the extent how much that was taking up my energy until I came back to the house. I saw how bad it was, how badly they'd left it.

30:20 Shani: And I spent like a month after they left, a full month, really up to six weeks actually, decluttering, deep cleaning, clearing out and cleansing their energy out of this space. And it's only really in the last, I'd say, like two weeks, three weeks that I've I've kind of gone, oh, I feel lighter in myself because I don't have their energy in my field anymore. And my house has become mine again, and I I released anything, anything that wasn't in alignment with who I'm becoming. So I cleared through my wardrobe.

30:58 Shani: I got rid of so many clothes that are made of bad material that I couldn't even believe I still had. I was surprised at myself that I had like polyester in a crowd. I was like, what is this doing in my wardrobe? Go. So I cleared all of that out because I was like, this is just not good for me, the environment, my hormones, my skin, any of it. Um, so I cleared all of that. I proper cleared out the kitchen, got rid of it, I just cleared everything away that old receipts, old documents, just I rearranged my desk, like just so many things that just didn't feel in alignment anymore from the version of who I was before we left to the version I've become now.

31:34 Shani: And I would say like holding on to those old things can feel very overwhelming. And if you are feeling overwhelmed in your space and you don't know where to start, start small. Just start with one drawer, you know, maybe it's your knicker drawer or your sock drawer or your makeup drawer. I cleared out everything, my makeup, everything I did everything, you know, your bathroom cupboard, just choose one space, one small space, and start there. And once you've done that, you'll start to feel like a lift, right?

32:06 Shani: And then you can go to the next space and just allow your intuition to guide you where you need to go next. Don't come from the mind, don't pressurize yourself. You know, just start with that one area. Maybe it's a corner, maybe it's moving the sofa and just cleaning behind the sofa, whatever it is, just take that one little step. And slowly, slowly, step by step, you'll start to release those parts of yourself and parts of your space, and that the overwhelm will start to decrease because you'll have less things to take care of.

32:40 Soraya: Yeah, I mean, I love doing that. So whenever I feel overwhelmed, I'll just clear out a drawer. Even just the action of clearing out the draw, I just feel lighter in my mind and I can think more clearly. So I definitely think that's a really great way, a great tip.

32:54 Shani: Definitely, like you know, every object we have in our house holds energy. It holds us like the other night. My my friend uh was visiting. My best friend lives in Singapore, and he's my best friend from primary school, and he'd come to England. He came up to stay with us for a night, and we lit the fire, and you know, we were chatting and we were playing music. And I said to him, Do you remember this, Matthew? Like this painting. Do you remember that? Do you remember that? And I brought all this stuff back from Asia from when we lived in Singapore together, but I was like, Oh, I brought that from the Philippines back to our flat in Singapore where we live together, to the next country I lived in, and to here, and it's like everything in my space pretty much has a story and a memory, and and it holds energy, it's attached to something, and and if it's not mine and I didn't buy it, and say I bought it second hand from a charity shop or a boot sale or someone gifted it to me, that also holds energy from the people who had it before me, and so so really we're sometimes we're holding on to stuff and we don't even know why it feels heavy, but it carries it carries a weight or it carries a memory, or it's just not not no longer part of who we are or where we're going.

34:03 Soraya: Yeah, I heard that as well. And someone mentioned to me about mirrors, how mirrors are bad, like we shouldn't get second-hand mirrors because of the energy. Is that something that you agree with?

34:13 Shani: Yeah, I mean, I did I did do a reel on this actually. I think that if you do get a secondhand mirror, you need to do a little ritual to cleanse it, like clean it, clean it, or just fit practically clean it with you know natural cleaner. I also don't like to use toxic chemicals in my house or like toxic products, but again, that's part of your environment, right? And if you're in midlife and you're thinking about hormones, just be thinking about what's around you in your environment, you know, the lighting, plastics, chemicals, cleaning products, all these things, what you're washing your clothes in, all that kind of thing.

34:42 Shani: It's important to be thinking about that too, um, because that definitely affects uh, you know, affects your endocrine system and your hormones and skin and hair and everything. Um, but yeah, for me, um where was I going with it? The mirror. Yes, I would definitely clean it, uh, first of all, like practically. And then I would also um just say something to the mirror, just be like, you know, whatever energy um came before you, I am choosing now to only reflect myself. Like I don't want to reflect anybody else's stories out of that mirror towards me, right?

35:18 Shani: Like I only want to reflect myself, and I think mirror mirror work in general is very, very powerful when you do look in the mirror and you look at yourself, and where you place your mirror is also important because you obviously want it to be reflecting something that's bouncing back good energy because mirrors amplify the energy in the home. So you obviously don't want it to be facing, for example, the toilet, or you don't want it to be facing a bin, or you know, um an front door's okay.

35:46 Soraya: The front door, if it's in the front door, in front of the front door.

35:49 Shani: I I would recommend you not putting a mirror opposite the front door because the front door is the mouth of qi in feng shui, and that brings in energy, and like the mirror will just bounce it straight back out. So if you're wanting to bring opportunities into your home and then the mirror is just reflecting that straight back out, I don't that's I'll be moving my mirror today then.

Why women in midlife often feel disconnected from themselves

36:07 Shani: Let me know how it goes. Yeah, I wouldn't put it opposite a bed either. Okay, yeah. Where's the best place for a mirror then? I think it just depends on your room and what you're trying to call in as well. Um, I for me I like to have mirrors as much as possible facing nature or facing a window, facing something green, like that's bring you know, reflecting that energy. Um, yeah, I don't really want it, you know, I don't want it facing a road, I don't want it facing um rubbish or like a dustbin or a toilet or you know.

36:38 Soraya: Okay. Have a think about that.

36:41 Shani: Yeah, thank you. It depends on the room as well and what you're calling in.

36:44 Soraya: Yeah, okay. And then it leads me to my next question. So we talked a bit about rituals, about the clearing out. Is there any other rituals you recommend? Textures, colours, lighting or natural elements, how they impact us emotionally in the house.

36:58 Shani: Yeah, again, so each so what in Feng Shui they have something called a bagwa map, and ba in Chinese means eight, and gua means area, trigram, or palace, we like to call it. So, like each room is like a palace in your home, which I like that. I like the sound. Yeah, or it should like it's a space, it's your big palace. Yeah, I like that. So um, as I said, each area of the bagwam up represents a different area of your life. So, you know, things like love and intimacy, health and wellness, spirituality and and and um growth, you know, in that area of your life or self-development or spirituality.

37:35 Shani: Um, you've got an area for new beginnings, an area for tribe and family, an area for purpose and career. So we have all different types of areas within the bagwa map. Each of those areas, palaces or gwars, also are associated with an element and with a colour. So again, everybody's house is going to be different because they have a different floor plan. And not only do they have a different floor plan, if we're doing the flying star charts, we base it on it's like a birth chart, like an astro chart for your house.

38:07 Shani: So it's based on the year your house was born or constructed. Uh my house was born in like my house was born in 1896, so it's pretty old Victorian. Yeah, so you can imagine there's probably been like a lot going on in this house in that time. Um, and so you know, as I said, like when I when I take into account all of the different elements that I then put the bagwa map over the four floor plan, I can see, oh, yeah, for me, like my southwest needed fire, even though it's not actually represented by the element of fire.

38:41 Shani: That's what my personal chart needed in terms of a remedy. It was missing. Um, but yes, for sure, when you look at each individual person's space, then you can work out, you know, is the colours in that room, you know, supportive for this part of your life right now, or this part of your health, or this part of your body, um, or what it is that you're looking to kind of you know move forward with or improve on or bring more on, bring more of into your life, um, then you then you would relate it to that specific area.

39:12 Shani: So for sure, I think colours are very important. Lighting a hundred percent, you know. Imagine you're working in like a hospital, you know, think about all the like hospitals, offices, schools, they all use it.

39:25 Soraya: It's awful lighting there, yeah.

39:26 Shani: Strip lighting, it's so dysregulating for your nervous system. So definitely low lighting as much as possible, candle light, you know, red light as opposed to the the blue screen light. Um, for sure, they're all hormone disruptors, right? So if we're talking about women in midlife and they're going through transitions, these are all really, really important. I definitely agree with that. And textures too, like you said, you know, like you want to. I hear a lot of women like, oh, silk sheets are like the vibe now, you know, or like, oh, I like to sleep in silk pajamas now.

40:00 Shani: And obviously, if you can afford the luxury of doing that, then yeah, it does make a difference. It really does. Like, you know, when you're wearing a polyester topic like 100% organic cotton, you can feel it, you feel different in yourself. So I definitely think that that textures and colours and lighting um are very, very important. And and I'm not an interior designer, but interior designers would definitely say that and would design with that in mind as well.

40:28 Soraya: Yeah, and what what role does um slowing down and intentional living play in your own life?

40:34 Shani: Can you repeat that? Sorry.

40:36 Soraya: Yeah, what role does slowing down and intentional living play in your own life?

40:41 Shani: In my life personally, oh, I mean it's everything. Like for me, I've learned as I'm hit hitting 40. You know, I spent a lot of my life, like as I said, traveling, running around. I was like super career-driven for a long time. Um, and I reached burnout so many times in my life. I I would get very overwhelmed very easily. Like I would go, go, go, get overwhelmed, and then attract and just burn out. And I'm just not available for that way of living anymore. So for me, like it's as I've hit almost hitting 40, like I've definitely learned several things.

41:19 Shani: Like slowing down in the morning, or I don't really like to call it the morning, but like when you wake up, when you rise, like having time for yourself if possible, even if it means getting up an hour earlier than your kids, I feel is very, very important. Like to be in your own energy before you connect to the outside world, before you connect to, you know, obviously, if you're sharing a bed with a partner, that also has an effect on you because their energy can affect you in your sleep. So taking that time to reclaim your power and your energy when you wake up is very important, and that can be through any any method that feels good for you.

41:54 Shani: Um, you know, journaling, movement, stretching, dancing, having a hot water, just going outside, touching a tree, putting your feet on the earth, whatever you can, whatever feels good for you. And that can change day to day depending on what your body needs and what your soul needs.

Feng Shui tips for creating a calmer, more peaceful home

42:10 Shani: Um, and then I really I really feel like simplifying life and simplifying your space. You know, we accumulate so much stuff. I think I don't have children yet, but I imagine when I do, I'll accumulate even more stuff. I'm sure you can agree with that.

42:24 Soraya: And I well, I mean, I have got five kids yet. It's like so much stuff in this house, like so many things that break and it's just piling on top of each other. So yeah, it's overwhelming as well, like you said earlier.

42:35 Shani: 100%. So, like simplifying what you can, and you're in Feng Shui, um, broken items definitely need to be got rid of because they they bring that like broken sheeting broken.

42:46 Soraya: It's on my list of things to do.

42:48 Shani: Yeah, so for sure, for sure, getting rid of any broken items, especially in the kitchen as well.

42:52 Soraya: Like it's like always that intention, it'll be fixed. I'm gonna fix that one, and you never get around to it, and it just like goes into a bag of other stuff of things that are broken as well. So, yeah, exactly.

43:01 Shani: And then it just piles up and then it does feel overwhelming. Yeah, so so yeah, for sure. I do think intentional slower living is very important. And I really my prayer for this year. I I come into each cycle with a new prayer. I don't, I don't believe the first of January is the new year, but um, I you know, from a feminine perspective, I you know, I think it's around April the first when they told us we were an April Fool, but we're not I'm an April Fool.

43:25 Soraya: That's my birthday.

43:27 Shani: There we go. You are the start of a new cycle. So I I really I I you know I create a prayer and an intention around that time. And my prayer for this year, or around the spring at Quinox, I went to the sea and I gave some some offerings to the to the land and to the waters, to Mama Ocean, and I I gave some roses and tobacco. And I give a lot of offerings. That's something that I work with in terms of ritual, is I give offerings to the space because it's a it's a reciprocity. If you want your space to hold you, you need to build a friendship and a relationship and a trust with your space and the land.

43:59 Shani: Of the land. So um, yeah, I gave offerings of tobacco and rose and I I shouted out to the sea lake, this is the year I become a calm, relaxed, nourished woman. And I did I declared it, you know, then and then I've had several um moments, uh ceremonies, rituals. I just came back from the south of France. I went on a pilgrimage, uh, a rose pilgrimage in the south of France to connect with the Magdalene. And yeah, so I've had lots of experiences already this year that like has helped me to drop into nourishment.

44:33 Shani: And I I've just learned like over this time, like I don't need to do it all, and I can't be it all, and I'm not gonna beat myself up for it. Like, and the and I think simplifying my life, decluttering this house. I I couldn't believe how much stuff we had in the loft. Still was you know, just stuff, just stuff. I was like, why have I got like 25 cushions? I don't need that many cushions, you know. I've got friends buying houses now, so if they want my cushions, cool. Like I just I feel like yeah, I'm just at a stage in my life, and I you know, I think a lot of women in their midlife would relate to this, or it's just like you want to just simplify it.

45:09 Shani: Like you don't need all the big, the big peak experiences anymore, like it becomes more of a gentle unfurling, you know, of the rose. Like the roses are analogy, it's just like the petals are just unfurling, they don't need to be like these massive, great, big, heightened experiences anymore. Um, yeah, and that that's reflected in the home too.

45:33 Soraya: Yeah, I love that analogy. And what does living as your limitless self mean to you, Shawny?

45:41 Shani: Oh yeah, I think a lot of those things that I just described, where it's like all the expectations that you place on yourself and all of the expectations that you think you should be doing. And you know, I've definitely had moments where I'm like, wow, I'm almost 40 and I don't think I'm living in the place I really want to spend the rest of my life, and I've been traveling and now I've come back, and you know, oh, we're back in the same house, and I love this house, but it's not where I want to raise my kids.

46:07 Shani: Like, there's you know, there's all these thoughts and things that come up, but it's also just like for me, being limitless is a having trust in something bigger than yourself. So I have just full faith in spirit, great spirit, God, you know, the spirit of the land. I believe in all of that. I have full faith and trust that I'm always being guided to where I need to go and what I'm meant to be doing, and I trust in the timing of it as well. And I think for a lot of my life I've forced the timing to fit what I wanted.

46:37 Soraya: Yeah.

46:38 Shani: And I've learned to let go of a lot of that. And releasing that has been yeah, releasing the expectations, not releasing dreams or visions or goals or anything like that, but releasing the expectations, releasing the pressure, um, releasing. I mean, I've you know, I've been on a huge healing journey to to release so many things in my life, but I reclaim so many things in my life, but yeah, I I think being limitless is just like knowing who you are and and living fully in an embodiment of that. And and for me, it's like your human and your soul living in alignment, which is kind of just like feng shui.

47:16 Shani: It's like your human soul and your house and your environment, just like living in that balance and that harmony. When you're in that space, you feel limitless.

47:25 Soraya: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, that's yeah, that's a really good way of describing it. I'd probably say the same thing as well, because we have the like we said earlier about the soul and the vessels, it's about matching them up together. Because I I do believe like we have this energy of the body that you know is just trying to fit, squeeze itself into this vessel, yeah.

47:43 Shani: And it's just and then we outgrow it, like we regenerate and we outgrow and we outgrow certain environments, right? And we outgrow certain people and we outgrow our ourselves, but evolving, isn't it, Shawnee? Yeah, yeah, evolving, always evolving, always evolving. And and you know, you I know you work with women specifically in in their midlife, and I think that as I said is a big threshold, and and it and it comes when you get to to kind of I don't know what you would describe as midlife, maybe like 40 to 50.

48:10 Soraya: Yeah, I'd say, I mean, now I'm 49, so I think from about 40, that's literally like half.

48:17 Shani: It depends how long we live, you know, if we live to 100, I guess is I think when you do hit your 40s or into your 50s, like hopefully you have a greater sense of who you are, or or or or you lose yourself for a while to come back to yours to a new version of yourself, okay or a remembrance of a version of yourself, and that's okay too.

How your home reflects your inner world

48:38 Shani: Like it's okay to lose yourself at these moments because they are big thresholds and they are transitional periods, and you know, in our in our culture now, we don't have these rites of passage that really honours that, but but our ancestors did, and I think like for me, I realized I was like, wow, well, I'm gonna have my last bleed of 39 before I hit 40. And for me, I was like, when I have my final bleed of 39, I want to do something to honour that. Like that feels really significant for me. Like, and it feels like I need to honor, honor my blood and honor my cycle and be like, wow, thank you so much.

49:16 Shani: Like you are still keeping me going and you're still like helping me to shed and nourish me and and bring me fertility as I still want to have children. So yeah, I think it's really, you know, for me, but there's no rite of passage around that. That's just that's just something that I feel I want to do for myself. But there's no outside celebration or you know, culture that's saying, Oh, it's your last bleed of 39, you know, we'll we'll do a celebration for that, we're crossing of a threshold. But that's just my personal desire for that.

49:45 Shani: And and these many rites of passage just they don't exist really in in many in many of our societies anymore, but they were there to help us get through these different thresholds, you know. Um, and I think a lot of for women in midlife, like it's often like a forgotten threshold.

50:06 Soraya: Yeah, I agree. But I you know, going back to what we said earlier, I do really think it's a really powerful point in our lives. I think a lot of women, a lot of my clients, they're just they really just want to be themselves. I think that's what it is. So over so many years, they kind of forget who they are because they're trying to make everyone else around them happy. That you know, it they feel much more empowered, which I think is a great reframe as opposed to feeling that we're getting older.

50:32 Soraya: I think we're getting wiser.

50:34 Shani: Exactly. That's exactly it, and then you know, every everything around us, you know, in society, as you said, by design, I I agree. And our entire the entire industry of what we see around us is based on human fear, right? You're getting older quick, use this cream, you're getting older quick, get this into the city.

51:00 Soraya: Right?

51:01 Shani: And and and it's almost like, okay, yes, well, we're getting older in every second, but as you said, we're also getting wiser, more beautiful. I look younger now than I did in my 20s. I'm not joking. I feel so much better in my body at 40 than I did in my 20s because I know who I am, and I've shed so much of the layers and the and the distortions and the beliefs and the lies and the patterns. So it's it is empowering. It is empowering to reclaim that and to be like, I am still a woman in you know that that can have vitality and that can birth things into the world in any way and still be creative, and you know, like that there's a lot of empowerment to be had around it, it's just fed in a very different way to what's just a society, the way that women have been kind of pushed down by the men.

51:53 Soraya: Um, and I I feel like you know our ancestors, you know, would have been very different of the women how they were seen. And you know, we talk about like witches and you know being persecuted and all the rest of it, but women I believe have so much power within us, and and I I feel that's my personal feeling that it's been really kind of repressed intentionally from a long time ago. So it's about women really stepping into their power.

52:17 Shani: A hundred percent. And it's the perfect time for us to do this because there's a lot of a lot of you know awakening happening on the planet.

52:24 Soraya: People are I'm loving it, yeah.

52:27 Shani: Same, people are tapping into more truth, people are becoming more discerning. I think people can see through the lies and the deception. Not everybody, but not everybody's meant to, and that's okay. Yeah, but more and more people are, and there's more and more availability for this, you know. Like, yeah, I think there's you know, I gaslighted myself for years, being like, there's no way I can channel light language and see spirits and talk to spirits, and like I can see what's going on in your space, and I can remote view your house.

52:57 Shani: Like, I was like, No way I can do all of that. I was like, but I can, and I have for lifetimes actually. And this is just a remembrance of what I used to do when I lived in temples and when I was a Magdalene, and like I'm just remembering, and and I think you know, we do guesslight ourselves because you're like you can't believe in dragons, dragons, you know, that's a whole other conversation, but like, yeah, the more that you can own your gifts and own your own that part of who you are, and people need it, the world needs it.

53:23 Soraya: Absolutely, yeah. Thank you so much, Sani, for coming and joining me today. I've really enjoyed our conversation. But before I let you go, just let the listeners know how they can reach out to you, they want to work with you and what kind of offerings you have for them.

53:36 Shani: Absolutely. So you can find me if you use social media, you can find me on Instagram at Roots and Rituals Interiors. Um, I have a free telegram group that you can join. I'll send you all the links that you can.

53:48 Soraya: Yeah, it will go on to the show notes.

53:51 Shani: Yeah, perfect. So you can add the telegram group there. Um, I also have a website, um, www.roots and rituals interiors.com. So you can find all my offerings on there. So um I work with energy space clearing, so I can um this can be done online. I can literally uh view well, you come on a call with me like this, and um, and we'll tap into what the energy is going on in your home, and then I help to clear, to clear it and see what's going on. Um, it's a very, very powerful session where I do use light language, where I do use kind of remote viewing and tap into the energetic field of your home or your space.

54:24 Shani: And then also I offer, you know, feng shui consultations, so um full full flying star charts or just bagwan map readings, or if you're looking at a specific area in your life, like your health or prosperity, I can do specific readings for that as well. Um, and yeah, I'll I'm I'm kind of in the process of creating a new a new program, but I won't say anything about it yet because it's in formulation process. Um, but yeah, I'm about to start my own podcast. I'm just finalizing the name because I had a name and then I've gone off it.

54:51 Shani: So uh yeah, I want to bring my podcast back because I used to have one The Liberated Woman, um, which is still on Spotify if you want to go have a listen, because I talk about ancestral healing on there and land and stuff anyway. Um, but it's not fully related to Feng Shui. So yeah, you can find me in all those all those different all those different platforms.

55:10 Soraya: Okay, well, thank you so much, Shani, and um I'll speak to you soon. Bye.