Why Women Lose Themselves in Midlife | Healing, Intuition & Self-Betrayal with Liv | Hot Flushes & Higher Self

0:04 Soraya: So, hi Liv, welcome to the podcast. And before we start, just share a little bit about your journey and what led you into this work.

0:12 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, thank you for having me. I'm excited to have a conversation with you. So I started this work in 2008. I stepped into the coaching world. And I think that if I'm honest, I've always been somebody that people go to or have come to and shared with me their challenges or their opportunities. And I knew that I wanted to support people with things that were hard for them to see pretty early on. I think we all have those moments in life where we're driving our car in life, having this body, understanding we are a vessel, and we just can't really see where we're going.

1:03 SPEAKER_01: It's almost like the windshield is dirty. And so I think it is such a great opportunity to be someone who helps people wipe down their windows, their window shield so that they can see more clearly until they are able to do that on their own.

Meet Liv: From Performance Coach to Transformational Guide

1:20 SPEAKER_01: So a bit of backstory for me, I started off getting my master's in exercise science and working as a performance enhancement specialist. So essentially, I was trained to be able to support athletes so that on game day, their bodies, their emotions, their spirit, their mind was ready to do what was necessary to work at their highest capacity. And I loved working with athletes, and that shifted into working more with the general public in fitness and in health. And in 20 and 2020, I shifted my business to move into more life coaching, um, working with executives, working with high-profile individuals, working with people who've achieved great things in their life and wanted to make sure that their life felt as good on the inside as it looked on the outside.

2:26 SPEAKER_01: And people come to me now where they are saying, you know, that I think there's a better version of myself living inside of me. Can you help me access that? And they don't always say it in that way, but that's usually that first come what that first conversation sounds like. So I've been in the business a long time, but my business has transformed because my clients are telling me what they are wanting from me. And I do my best to listen and then let and just be guided to where the support is needed.

2:59 Soraya: And was there a defining moment when you realized you're being called towards a deeper healing, spirituality, or self-discovery?

Growing Up in a Cult & Finding Inner Wisdom

3:08 SPEAKER_01: Well, let me go back even further, then so I grew up in a cult and until the age of six years old. And how I survived that time, the psychiatrist in the world would say I disassociated. But to me, really, it was actually a beautiful way to survive, to connect with spirit, to connect with my my God self, to connect with something bigger than me, whether that be nature, my future self, things that maybe most people can't see. And there were moments in my childhood where I remember hypnotizing myself and then going other places to visit me now, like a 40-year-old version of me, or to connect with um nature in some way, like going to the beach or just being in different spaces, different realms where it was a more lovely environment for me.

4:19 SPEAKER_01: And I'm sharing that because you know, you're asking, what is the journey here that I've been on that wanted for my own personal development? And I think that I've was born into a situation where I saw at a really early age that people were essentially handing over their sovereignty um to somebody else and something else rather than knowing their own power. And I wanted to really always know that the answers that I have that are important to me are kind of come from within. And that I don't need to in this life hand over my power over to somebody else in order to live a great life and know direction in my life.

5:16 SPEAKER_01: So my my own personal journey started pretty young because if I if it didn't, I wouldn't be here now being able to talk to you on this podcast. So I feel really honored that other people now get to um have conversations with me and that I get to have conversations with them because in every conversation I do see myself. And every conversation is also another way for me to understand something different about myself and to learn something because we're all we're all the same, we're actually not very different.

5:54 SPEAKER_01: And I work with people in in different areas of the world too, culturally, different age groups, and we actually are all very similar. So when I get to hear someone else's story and support them on their journey, I'm actually still I'm really supporting my own journey. So this work has helped me to really stay accountable to what I say is important because as a leader in this space, it's important to me that I'm not just talking about insight or wisdom, but I'm actually embodying it and demonstrating it every day.

6:31 SPEAKER_01: And my clients keep me accountable to that, they help me grow.

6:37 Soraya: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and I completely it resonates with me what you're saying as well. If I feel the same as a therapist whenever I see my clients, I always see myself and them as well. So I feel there's a reason why they're coming to see me because there's a bit of me that also is healing on that journey. So yeah.

6:53 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely. Yeah, there's a reciprocity, there is a huge reciprocity to being in this space and being um a coach or a therapist or a mentor to other people because the people who will come to your space, and I've worked with hundreds of coaches at this point too to support them and growing their own businesses. And it's so fascinating because I will see over and over and over again that you know um the client will be going through something really challenging. And I'm like, guess what? You're going to be on the other side of this, and five clients with the same problem are gonna be calling you up.

7:32 SPEAKER_01: So just know that this is your boot camp. This is your your time to take notes, to be curious, to stay open to seeing how you have moved through this, because it's most likely going to be something that you're gonna support someone else through very soon, if not like by tomorrow. So, and I've seen that in my own, you know, work uh work as well. I'll be, you know, in a different phase of my relationship with my husband where we're working through something and and it's a challenging situation. And then I've recognized, okay, cool, we've learned something new, we've grown through this conflict and moved into closer connection.

8:10 SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, five women are talking about the same exact thing that had just come came up, right? So this is part of the benefit of being in this space, I think, and supporting other other people.

8:23 Soraya: Yeah, beautifully sad. Thank you, Liv. Um yeah, so and so going back to women in um midlife, they become quite disconnected from themselves, um their intuition or their purpose.

Why Women Lose Themselves Before Midlife

8:36 Soraya: Why do you think that happens?

8:40 SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that people end up being disconnected to themselves because it is really challenging not to. That is what this whole system is built upon, is people not feeling good about themselves. So you'll buy things and spend more money and feel insecure and say, well, you don't look good enough and you're not good enough, so you need to keep on keeping on. And it keeps us below the line of effectiveness. I call it the rush of the rush zone, okay, where you're constantly trying to keep up to something that is impossible to get to because it was never yours in the first place.

9:23 SPEAKER_01: And in our world right now, this is how people are being controlled. You're being controlled because you think you're not good enough, you're not connected to your wisdom, you're seeking answers outside of yourself. And so, what I would say to women in particular is of course, of course, that's what this whole world is, how it's all spinning and work in here. But once you realize that that doesn't have to be the default, then you can really start to create your life by design. And I think that part of part of this in in what you're saying in midlife of like, why is that happening in midlife?

10:09 SPEAKER_01: I would actually say that it actually happens pretty early on, probably starts around eight years old. But by midlife, we're fed up with it. By midlife, we're we're we're thinking, okay, I I don't want to this, I can't go on like this anymore. And we're either our bodies breaking down, or we have anxiety or depression, or there's something or a big life change like death or in our lives or divorce, or there's something that happens that causes a rupture, really, to wake us up to say, Hey, are you gonna do it a different way, even though the collective is still in this illusion of I'm not good enough, I'm not loved enough, I need to stay in the rush zone of life so that um I will be loved and I will feel safety.

11:00 SPEAKER_01: But there is another way. And when you're able to recognize that you can actually stay in a quite empowered state and know your own wisdom, then it's so much easier to be in your 40s and your 50s with all of the hats that everything that you're carrying and the responsibility that there is. So I'm not sure if that's answering your question, but I don't know if it's really about it being a midlife problem. I think it's it is a problem. And then women wake up, it's a it's almost like that, it's like that disturbance is a beautiful thing.

11:46 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you can recognize it's not a problem, that just that that feeling that is in you that's like, oh, there's gotta be more than this kind of feeling. That's not a problem. It's a signal to say, hey, what got you the success that you have today is not gonna get you where you're going now. So let's go ahead and shake things up so you really start to pay attention. And and and all of the ways you've been trying to do it before, we're not gonna let that work anymore. We're just gonna keep slapping you down and it's not gonna work to just kind of keep waking you up to reality.

The Wake-Up Call That Changes Everything

12:20 Soraya: Mm-hmm. Yeah, completely. I think that's a really great way of explaining it. That yeah, we have been conditioned a certain way, and it's only when we get to midlife that we actually slowly have and had enough, and something has to change. The signals are too loud.

12:37 SPEAKER_01: Exactly. And that if we can, if we can all recognize when those signals are really loud and painful, it's it's it's a gift. If you can recognize that, oh, there's a gift in this, and it's my job to find that gift, to find my opportunity to figure out what the offering is here. That's when things will start to shift. And I know so many people are, it's it's not easy, you know, especially in our world right now, women are, you know, taking care of the kids, taking care a lot of the fight of the a lot of the financial, um, taking care of aging parents at the same time, usually now, and wanting a sense of meaning, purpose, freedom, space, you know, and it's not an easy, it's not an easy thing.

13:30 SPEAKER_01: And the easy it's easy to go and numb out on social media or um sugar or um, you know, alcohol at the end of the day. It's just easy, it's easy to just step into what everyone else is doing. I call these everyday addictions, you know, these everyday addictions that nobody's gonna judge you for. And but you know you're in self-betrayal, you know that there's something better for you. And if that is something that resonates, that's that's it's a moment to be really grateful because something else wants to shift, something else wants to happen, and the values, the mindset, the behaviors get to shift so that you can evolve.

14:15 Soraya: Yeah. And you know, that all makes sense, but in theory, it's sometimes hard when you've been doing it for years and years and years, putting everyone first and just kind of putting yourself last. So, what's your advice for women beginning to reconnect themselves? How to start?

Self-Betrayal: The Hidden Habit Keeping Women Stuck

14:36 SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Okay, so if someone's listening to this right now and this conversation's resonating, and they're like, okay, I'm in. I I'll do this, uh, assign me up. What I would say gets to happen, one is see if you can be as honest as you can with yourself first. Be really, really honest with yourself every single day about where you are in self-betrayal. Because a lot of the times we'll say things like, Well, you know, my mom needed me to help her out with that, and that makes me a good person because I helped her out, or something like that.

15:15 SPEAKER_01: I wanted to get my workout in, but my mom needed me, so I helped her out, or I was gonna do this thing, but my daughter really needed this thing. So, like, I'm a good mom, okay? And we have these really sneaky ways to that that are excuses for not taking care of ourselves. And we have to start being more honest with ourselves as women first and really recognize that this is actually self-betrayal. If I'm taking care of my mother before I'm actually at the expense of taking care of myself, that's actually not helpful to me or her.

15:54 SPEAKER_01: That is self-betrayal. Same with my daughter, same with anything else. So, part of what will happen when you just start to be more honest. So take a week of like what I call radical honesty. Okay. It's being really radically responsible for your choices in your life. And what you can do is every single night, just take inventory and just ask yourself, where was I in self-betrayal today? And if you're like nowhere, it means that you're actually not paying attention because every day you are in self-betrayal.

16:26 SPEAKER_01: Every day I am in self-betrayal. And if I can be honest about that, I can then change it and change it and change it again and change it again. And it gets, and then I get better and better and better, and then less, and it happens less often. Okay. But see if you can do this with a really a lot of compassion. Okay. This is not about shaming yourself at the end of the night, okay. It's about saying, I am willing and ready to to be and do something I haven't been able to be and do before. And I'm going to transition from the habit of people pleasing and really learn how to honor myself.

Liv's Powerful 8-Minute Daily Practice

17:08 SPEAKER_01: And it has to start with radical honesty. So that would be one thing. I'm going to give you one more. I call this the eight-minute rep. Okay. The eight-minute rep. And you can do it for more than eight minutes, but don't do it for less. Every single day, I want you to take eight minutes for yourself, eight minutes to drop in and connect with your own wisdom that lives in your body, in your spirit. And you're just going to be open to the fact that you actually do have wisdom within you that is going to tell you exactly what to do and not do, where to go, where to not go, who to talk to, who you don't need to talk to, tasks you need to do, and things you don't need to do.

17:56 SPEAKER_01: So for eight minutes, just sit quietly and tap into the wisdom that lives inside of you. It doesn't have to be that complicated. You're just sitting still. You can be in the sunshine, okay? And just close down the eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, maybe three deep breaths, just to kind of center in and say, I'm willing and ready to receive the wisdom inside of me. And keep it simple. And then just say, I'm going to listen. I'm just going to listen and get and stay as quiet as I can to really hear the truth within.

18:29 SPEAKER_01: These this eight-minute practice can look a lot of different ways. And I'll I'm going to be sharing with people soon what you can do every day for these eight minutes. But for now, this is a really powerful practice just to get in the habit of saying every day consistently, I take eight minutes to connect with myself. Super powerful. Don't skip a day. Don't make it a big deal. Don't think you need to make it an hour.

18:54 Soraya: If you have it more why eight minutes, Liv? Why not 10? Why eight minutes? Why not five or ten? Is it not a reason why it's eight?

19:02 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what a what a beautiful question. Here's what I've here's what I've found to be true. When you do something for eight minutes, if you turn the the number eight on its side, it's the infinity symbol.

19:15 Soraya: Yeah. Okay.

19:16 SPEAKER_01: And if you are able to do something for eight minutes, it's as if you've done it for eternity. Okay. And part of what happens if you start to keep track of different things in your life, okay? Let's use exercise. You don't want to go on that run. You don't want to get up and go on that walk or something. Okay. But somehow you manage to get your shoes on and you get outside. You're like, oh, I have so many things to do. And da da da da da da da. And like you have the list in your fucking head, you know, thinking about all the things you should be doing instead.

19:49 SPEAKER_03: Yeah.

19:49 SPEAKER_01: But you're like, yes, this is good for me. And you go. You'll notice about eight minutes into that walk around, you're like, God, life is amazing. This is incredible. I'm so happy I did this. Yay, me, you know, and all of a sudden you feel so good. And you're like, God, every I why was I worried about all these things? And it's I call it the warm-up. Okay. You know, nobody loves the warm-up. The warmup sucks. Okay. But if you can get through that warm-up period, which is about eight minutes, you will feel really good.

20:25 SPEAKER_01: And the more we can do these eight-minute reps, we can learn actually to have that as our baseline. Okay. And this is why we need those eight minutes. If you need more, great, go do it. But I but I guarantee you, if you stay consistent and do this for eight minutes, it will change the trajectory of your life as just as a byproduct of you sitting still and connecting with wisdom in some way, changes the trajectory of what would happen otherwise. It's a very powerful practice. And I would recommend that everybody start there.

Why Women Don't Need More Discipline—They Need More Connection

21:01 Soraya: And I think that's a really good tip because, as women in general, we are always busy, you know, especially like moms, we always have things to do and be we get consumed with our busyness. And that's, I feel when I'm kind of like with putting aside my meditation, that's when I need it most, because it really does bring you back in, doesn't it? So I think that's a really great thing to do. Just even eight minutes, like you said. So yeah, it's a good tip. Because otherwise you get lost in your thoughts, don't you?

21:32 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely. And the thing, the thing that we get to recognize as well is that the busy lives that we have are our choice. Okay. The busy lives that we have are our choice. And you'll you'll know that once you are connected to wisdom more and more. What when you connect with connect with yourself, the true self, more and more, you will then start to notice what. Busyness is actually not yours to do. You'll get more discerning about what is yours to do and what's not. And then you end up organically just creating more space in your life that is for you for like a quiet nap in the sunshine or getting a glass of water or not waiting 10 more minutes when you have to go to the bathroom.

22:20 SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's like these simple things where you're like, no, I'm so busy. I can't go to the bathroom. It's like, no, you get to take care of yourself every single moment of this day and stay true to yourself every single moment of this day. And you'll start to see opportunities for more space, more freedom, more impact, more creativity when you're dropping in. I want to share this with you. Here's what I know to be true. I lead a lot of women's retreats and women's workshops and women's groups.

22:50 SPEAKER_01: And women do not need more discipline. Okay. This idea that you need to be more disciplined and need to be like make yourself do some things. Let's just stop that. Let's throw that out the window. Okay. You do not need more discipline. We're not lacking discipline. We're lacking connection. We're lacking connection to ourselves. And when women are connected to themselves, it is incredible. It is powerful. It is strength. It is it changes changes the world when women are connected to themselves. And that is what I want to see.

23:31 SPEAKER_01: That is why I come onto these podcasts. This is what why I do what I do. Because when people are when women are actually connected to their powerful selves, because we are in intuitive, because we are caregivers, because we are essentially goddesses. I'm just gonna say it. Okay.

24:00 SPEAKER_01: In the best, best way. We are actually able to then be an asset to the people around us so much more. But what we got wrong is that we're thinking we're being assets because we're helping everybody all the time and we're being helpful and we're of service. We're doing we're thinking that's being an asset. But when you're not connected to yourself doing that, you're now modeling for the next generation that they are not important enough. They are actually not enough because they're watching you thinking you're not enough, that you're not taking care of yourself.

24:40 SPEAKER_01: And we are we are the models for this next generation. And so the best thing we can do is to recognize that when we are not taking, when we're taking care of others at the expense of ourselves, we are becoming a liability. We are a liability to ourselves and actually everyone else around us. And at some point in midlife, usually women are recognizing I want to be an actual asset. I want to be an asset to me, to my family, to my community, to my world. And this is this is how we do it. Radical honesty, let go of this forcing life, forcing yourself, and start connecting.

25:22 Soraya: Yeah, very true. Um, and you work intuitively and holistically. So, how would you describe your work in a ground and accessible way to our listeners who's not familiar with it?

Blending Science, Intuition & Spirituality

25:36 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I grew up with more of a science background in exercise science and you know, all of that. So all of this work that I do doesn't feel um apart from science, especially now. You know, science is catching up to what we would once thought was, you know, woo-woo or something, or you know, too out there. Yeah. And I love hearing more and more that people are recognizing that a lot of this is one and the same. So, for example, research shows now that the more healthy your gut is, like the more the healthy gut will actually make you more intuitive, will make you more creative, will give you access to wisdom you didn't have otherwise.

26:26 SPEAKER_01: Same with your muscles and your body. The more you're moving it in healthy ways and exercising and giving it some, you know, some strength and some vitality, guess what? You move trauma out of your body that was stuck there. So a lot of the things that science is showing us now are not um separate from being able to live intuitively and to heal ourselves. Um, it's all the same. So, how I would describe the work that I'm doing with clients is that I'm helping them access the wisdom that lives inside of them and I'm helping them become leaders, and I'm helping them become leaders by learning how to self-lead first.

27:12 SPEAKER_01: So, like I was sharing with you before, I work with a lot of high-profile individuals and people in the spotlight a lot, and um, people who are entrepreneurs or executives and running businesses or running their homes, you know, people who have actually achieved quite a lot in their lives. And it's not that they're not smart. Like I think I work with the most brilliant people I think in the world. It's that they have not been given the playbook to learn how to connect with themselves. And when they are disconnected with themselves, their life lacks meaning and purpose, and then they end up in this self-betrayal loop.

27:52 SPEAKER_01: Or in like I said before, these everyday addictions that are just kind of little cuts every day. Um, and so part of what I'm doing really with clients is helping them see that the greater version of themselves living inside of them. And part of the gift that I have is like I can actually see the best version of people very well, the highest version of that person I can see. And in that in those rooms, and in these rooms, I am then able to be human medicine for that person because I'm reflecting back their highest self.

28:24 SPEAKER_01: And that is really powerful.

28:27 Soraya: All right. When you say you can see the higher version of that person, is that like literally you can see? Or how how how would you describe that?

28:38 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I don't I don't need I I don't think I'm actually that different than a lot of people. So think about someone you like love unconditionally. You just think they're just like you just love them no matter what. You have that person in mind? Okay. Let's say that they're acting like an asshole that day, okay? And they're just being ridiculous and they're not in their truth and they're out of integrity. Just imagine them doing something outrageous, okay? And now just take a moment to like close down the eyes and then see the highest version of them, even though they're being an asshole.

29:18 SPEAKER_01: Can you see that see that highest? Okay, that's what it is. It's not acting, everyone has this ability. You've just decided that there might just be one or five people you can do this with, but you can actually do this with anybody you decided was a part of love for you. Decided that love was like you're gonna choose to love that person as you would this other person you had in mind. Okay. This is something that I think we are actually all evolving into is being able to do this, being learning how to be human medicine, not only for ourselves, like we've been talking about on this podcast, but learning really how to be human medicine for other people, to have great transformation and healing occur.

30:10 SPEAKER_01: And part of that is by recognizing that just like you can think of someone you love and you recognize that they're out of integrity, but you can still love them and see the highest version of them. We can do this with anybody that we choose to do if we're if we're actually deciding to have love-centered living, is essentially what I call it. When you're deciding to live a life that is love-centered, this will be accessible to you.

30:39 Soraya: Thanks for explaining that. Um and so going back to your clients, what are the biggest emotional or um energetic blocks you commonly see with women they're carrying?

The Biggest Emotional Blocks Women Carry

30:52 SPEAKER_01: Well, we've mentioned a big one, which is overworking, overfunctioning, I call it. Okay, and that can come in very a lot of forms, like we talked about people pleasing or um, you know, helping others and calling it service or calling it helpful at the expense of self. There's there's often in this part of people's life as well, a time where we get to let go of what we can call lookism, and then the comparison loop that happens when we're focused on needing to have our bodies, our face, our clothes, our hair be something for somebody else, um, besides our own, or comparing in that.

31:42 SPEAKER_01: So I think that in midlife, often women are having to go through a practice of letting that go to to say that does not serve me to have my mind consumed with how I am looking for other people. And what am I going to decide to do? Does it matter more about how I'm feeling, or does it matter how I'm how I'm being perceived? The other thing that I think is a trap or a loop that occurs is needing constant validation from external places and people to feel good. And we're wanting people to respond to us in a way that matches our preferences all the time, whether it's your kids or your husband or your friend, like, well, I would have done it like this, or I would have, you know, if I gave that gift, I would have done that.

32:40 SPEAKER_01: Like we're wanting the world to match what we would want, and that doesn't work. And so I think those are the three big ones. It's it's overfunctioning, over, you know, over overworking, overfunctioning, people pleasing bucket. It's the recognition that you're gonna decide how you want to age gracefully and decide what matters to you about what you take care of and what you decide to let go of. Because if you're not clear on that, someone else is gonna tell you what that needs to be. And that's dangerous for women.

33:14 SPEAKER_01: Okay. So we all have to decide what that is. And then for the validation piece, it's really about recognizing, again, that when you're connected with yourself, you are not needing that validation from other people. It just becomes sprinkles on a cake. It's not the cake, it's not what makes the cake taste good. If the sprinkles are blue that day or green that day or red that day, it's like, okay, that's fine. That's that makes it makes it wonderful if it happens, but it's not the thing that dictates worthiness.

33:45 Soraya: Yeah, that's a really great analogy as well. I like that about the cake. But it's true, right? Because if you are connected with yourself and you know what you want, what other people say, that's your choice whether or not you want to really take that in anyway.

33:58 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

33:59 Soraya: Understanding your power, yeah. And going back to healing, true healing, what does it look and feel like in your experience?

34:08 SPEAKER_01: What does true healing look like in my experience? Yeah, what a great question. I'll tell you what's what's on topic right now in my life is really around the opportunity to have people love me more and allowing it to feel safe, to be loved, and to receive and and the vulnerability and the visibility that that takes to have people um really take care of me. And I think that for a long time, what was running the show was that I am most safe when I'm in control, I am most safe when I am the leader.

34:53 SPEAKER_01: I am most safe, I can be vulnerable, but only when I'm in charge. So, for example, I can come on this podcast and tell you a vulnerable story about something that has occurred to me. Like I was born in a cult, and then this is what I learned from it. And I can share something vulnerable, but to me, that's actually not vulnerability. That's just me showing up professionally today. Vulnerability is letting my husband wrap his arms around me after a hard day. It's letting the house be messy and going to bed because I need sleep or and letting someone else handle something important, right?

35:38 SPEAKER_01: That I would have controlled before. So the growth edge for me and the healing for me is I am safe always, even when I'm feeling messy, even when I'm confused, even when I'm feeling vulnerable. I don't have to override that and then overfunction anymore. And that has been really fun to explore for me over the last couple of years.

36:09 Soraya: Yeah, that's that's yeah, that's um that's really interesting the way you're comparing that and being vulnerable and just showing up professionally. And for you, the vulnerability is actually just being yourself and not worrying about anything and not trying to be a version of somebody somebody else wants you to be, just be yourself, and that that's great. I love it. Thank you, Lou.

36:35 SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.

36:37 Soraya: Um, and so what daily rituals or practices support you, your own well-being and grounding?

Daily Rituals for Emotional Wellbeing & Intuition

36:44 SPEAKER_01: Well, some of them we've talked about today because anything that I'm ever teaching someone or sharing with someone is um something that I'm doing myself. So, again, every day there's an eight-minute rep, if not multiple, depending on what the day is happening. So it can be one eight-minute rep at the beginning of the day, maybe there's another rep in the afternoon or one in the evening, but minimum there's a rep a day. Okay. Um, I think that it's very important for me to, like I shared, have really great gut health and keep my body strong because I've had a lot of trauma in my life.

37:19 SPEAKER_01: And so when I it it does help me to move my body in different ways. And you know, people can call this somatic work, for example. So if I if I'm moving my body and like this morning, doing some yoga outside in the sunshine, that is helpful for me to release what is not no longer needed here and move my body in ways that are supportive for my healing, my continued healing. So strength training, yoga, pilates, going on a walk, whatever it is. It doesn't have to be the same thing every day. But moving my body every day in some way is very helpful for me.

37:55 SPEAKER_01: And keeping my gut healthy is very healthy, is very um helpful for me as well. So eating the foods that are going to allow for um having a good mic the microbiome here is essential. So I can be connected to my body, I can stay, my mind can stay sharp, I can feel my connection to my intuition. It helps with also a sense of what I call somatic dignity to have a healthy, strong vessel, knowing that I'm not just my body, but the body is very helpful in order to access greater wisdom. And so these are some of the practices that are helpful for me.

38:39 SPEAKER_01: And also the last thing I'll share is because I'm a teacher, because I'm someone who learns by teaching, which is what I think is a teacher, um, it's really important that when I um have new ideas or I have creativity move through me, that I take time to honor that creativity. I take time to hone it and craft it and then share it. Because if any of that doesn't happen, it creates toxicity for me. So the the opportunity is to what I say close that loop. So if I have an idea that I know wants to be shared, is to take time to find a way to share it and find a way to essentially teach in some way.

39:25 SPEAKER_01: That is that process is also very helpful for me.

39:31 Soraya: Thank you for sharing, Liv. Um, it's always good to know what you do as well, because obviously you're working with your clients, but you know, it's nice to see that you're teaching the same things that you're doing yourself anyway. Which makes sense.

39:44 SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Yeah.

39:45 Soraya: You're practicing what you preach. Um and what advice would you give to someone currently going through a major transition in their life?

Navigating Major Life Transitions with Grace

39:55 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that transitions are really challenging. You know, they come often with grief, they come often with a sense of um identity fragmentation. It's like, who am I? I thought it was this, but I thought life was this, or I thought um I would be like this, or life would work out like this, but it's not. So it can be a really confusing time. So I think to recognize that if you can see that anytime there's a big rupture or there's a big transition, if you can view it as life is not happening to you, it's happening for you.

40:32 SPEAKER_01: Just that one little shift of a mindset is very helpful when it's challenging. And what I mean by that is we can, when life is feeling very heavy and hard or wobbly, we can feel like we are moving into this victim mentality of this is happening to me, or I've got to make something happen to change it. And we get into the to the victim or the I, I, I mode, like I have to do it differently. I have to, it's a lot of I-centric, and all of that is a level of consciousness that is very challenging and doesn't provide for optimal solutions.

41:16 SPEAKER_01: Okay. But if you can shift it to this is happening for me, and I get to figure out why, and I'm gonna make meaning out of this no matter what, something will be shifting, something will start to shift. So that that that mindset and that energy in that mindset is really important to keep throughout the grief, throughout the wobble, throughout the heart. Just keep reframing and coming back to that. That you're looking for the opportunity, the gift, or the offering in what is happening. Because whatever is happening for you, it might not have even been your fault, but it is your responsibility to make meaning out of it that is going to work for you for where you're wanting to go next.

42:00 SPEAKER_01: And that's really important. So that would be my first nudge or suggestion for people. The other thing that I would do and say is that stop thinking you need to do hard things on your own. You most likely were conditioned to be somebody that when you're going through a hard thing that you had to figure it out on your own, you have to, you know, put your big girl pants on and make it happen. And that you could do that again, but it's not gonna be as fun and you won't be as impactful. There's such wisdom that you have in this moment when there's hard things going on, that when you're sharing through story, it's gonna be really powerful, not just for yourself, but for other people.

42:47 SPEAKER_01: And you'll be able to find more meaning when you're in that storytelling and when you're in that community. So I would say find people who you who you can be around during this time. Don't think you're meant to do it all on your own, because we live in a world right now that glorifies this uh living in this way of, oh, I handled it all by myself and I figured it out. And but really what we're looking for is community, we're looking for connection, and that connection is really important during challenging times.

43:25 SPEAKER_01: So that would be another place I would say to lean into.

43:30 Soraya: Yeah, that's great advice. I think both of us I really believe, you know, it's so important because we're not supposed to be in the world by ourselves. We we're always in tribes and communities, and and I think technology and the way we're headed, everyone's just connected. You know, we have all of these gadgets to keep us connected, but actually we're going more with into ourselves and not seeing people just all online, and people are very lonely. Absolutely, um. It's not natural. It's not supposed to be this way, is it?

44:04 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that we have to decide that it gets a change. And so, you know, when we're having those big, big um moments, recognize that when you share it with somebody else, it's such a gift for other people to be there for you. You know, like what an honor that you joined that community or called your friend and really told her what was going on. Like, what an honor that you were able to be vulnerable with and trust that person or that community or that coach or that therapist or whoever it is that you go and talk to and gain some support from.

44:43 SPEAKER_01: So just to know that no matter what is happening, it you are a gift. And I think that people are worried about not, oh, I don't want to be a burden, or I don't want to have to like, you know, they're going through hard things too. What do I need to bring my hard thing? You know, and all of this comparison, even about hard things. And it's like, no, let's drop all that and actually start being real with the people in our lives and asking for help when we need it. Because that's when change happens.

45:14 SPEAKER_01: That's when healing and meaning occur more.

45:17 Soraya: This is a very English thing. If someone says, Are you okay? People say, Yeah, I'm fine. How are you? You don't really answer, you know, people aren't really fine. Everyone's going through their things, especially with women. I think it's so powerful when you have your support network that you can talk to because everyone's going through their stuff, but when you share it, it's um very different to being all alone. So yeah, thank you. It's again a reframe, isn't it? Being it is a burden to a gift when you can share with somebody.

45:47 SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.

45:49 Soraya: And so this is the question I always ask my guests. What does limitless self mean to you?

45:55 SPEAKER_01: Limitless self. I think an acronym for that would just be your your highest self or your God self, the wisdom that lives within you. I think that our what we actually have access to is so much more than what we're accessing on a daily basis. And I think the more we get clear and connected, we are right, we will recognize more and more the fact that we are powerful, the fact that we are limitless, the fact that we are really um only tapping into a very small percentage of our actual capacity.

46:36 unknown: Yeah.

46:37 Soraya: Thank you, Lynn. Now, before I let you go, um, if you just let the listeners how they can work with you, I know you've got a couple of books out as well.

Liv's Books, Spiritual Heartbeat Assessment & How to Connect

46:45 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I have a couple of books. Um, what my first book is called Lose the Weight, Create Your Healthy State. And that book is really about how to empower your health. So how to, you know, let go of any of the emotional or physical or mental weight that you're carrying in your day so that you can really, again, like we talked a lot about today, shifting that um that state. And so it kind of gives a gives a way for people to really take care of their bodies in a different way and to know that they matter, to know that they are leaders and really embody that.

47:23 SPEAKER_01: And then the book that came out recently is called Spiritual Heartbeat, The Ultimate Requirement for Success. And that book is essentially sharing with people how to bring spiritual intelligence into their everyday life. So it doesn't, you know, we hear these words like forgiveness or equanimity or compassion or love and divine or even empowerment. You know, we hear these words and they sound good, but then how do we actually tangibly help have them help us to create better change for ourselves and other people?

48:02 SPEAKER_01: And so this book was my attempt to share with people these seven spiritual principles and how to actually apply them into your everyday life. And so that book came out um late last year and is something that I share with people. Alongside this book, we've created this assessment called the Spiritual Heartbeat Assessment. And we did this with professors at Brown University. And this assessment, when you take it, it's very short, maybe it takes like 10 minutes. It will allow you, if you can think about something that you're going through in your life, whether it's a challenge or an opportunity, and you think about that thing that you know is up in your life, and you take this assessment, it will essentially point you to towards the spiritual principle that is wanting something from you, that is wanting your attention.

48:54 SPEAKER_01: So you'll you'll be able to see, you know, maybe you're you've got this challenge in your space, and you're like, no, I'm totally, you know, have radical responsibility and that one's great, like I'm doing it right, and then you can't figure out where it is missing. So maybe you're you're good with one of the principles, but then you're like, oh, I'm not actually um uh um feeling uh living love-centered. I'm not um connected to divine living. There's other aspects of spirituality that want to be tended to.

49:26 SPEAKER_01: So there's an opportunity, it's a free assessment. So I'll make sure that you have it. You could put it in the show notes if you like. And there's um, you can also find me at um all of my my my my hand, my social media handles or my website is oliviafish.com. It's spelled like olive O-L-I-V-E-Y-A-H um dot com. And so you can find things that I'm up to. I run a women's group and a men's group, and we have a community called Be Human Medicine, um, where we hold different things throughout the year together.

50:02 SPEAKER_01: There's a meditation course coming up in August and um things like that.

50:07 Soraya: So there's is it all online, Liv, because um you're based in San Francisco, right? So for listeners who are in the UK, is it online they can work with you as well?

50:17 SPEAKER_01: Exactly. Um all of this is virtual. We do have in-person events that are that happen within the different cohorts at times, but most of the majority of the the platform and the work that we do in the community is is online.

50:30 unknown: Yeah. Okay.

50:31 Soraya: And going back to that spiritual assessment, is that also you're on the is that on the website?

50:37 SPEAKER_01: It is on the website, and um, but I can also share the link and you can connect it um in the news as well.

50:44 Soraya: Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, Liv, for being a guest today. I really enjoyed our conversation, and I hope to speak to you soon. Bye. Thank you.

50:55 SPEAKER_01: Thank you.

50:55 Soraya: Bye, bye bye.